Are you trying to write a wedding speech, and wondering where to begin or what to say? Feeling frustrated? Well, I know someone who would be absoutely delighted to help you, even if it’s just a bit of friendly advice over the phone  - he’s a professional speech writer in London.

I met Laurence and Anna (they’re business partners) earlier this year. We had a super conversation about Wedding Speech Etiquette.  Well, to cut a long story short, I asked Laurence to give me some tips, to help my Grooms with their speech delivery, and here’s what he came back with:

Do

Talk slowly. If it takes 12 minutes, not nine, it doesn’t matter at all.
Pause for effect. Your audience need time to digest the story before they get the punchline. So give them time to get it.
Emphasise key words. Imagine you’re telling a story without a script. You’ll say some words louder than most. And change your inflection on others.
Practise. However well written the speech, you don’t want to be ‘reading’ it. Know it well enough that it just becomes a safety net.
Gesticulate. Body language is vital. If you’re addressing someone, look at them. Use your arms to emphasise a point.

Don’t

Be put off by a heckle. You can pre-prepare a couple of responses to a noisy member of the crowd.

Give in to the shakes. Paste your speech onto card. Or rest it somewhere you can see it. Find out if there’s a lectern. Holding a shaky piece of paper will put you off before you get going.

Get drunk beforehand. It may feel like the easy way to get through it, but it won’t seem so sensible afterwards.
Just read it out. Great material is irrelevant if it’s delivered badly. You’ll be much more natural when you’re not reading straight from the page.

There’s plenty more helpful advice about preparing and delivering a wedding speech on Laurence’s web site. Visit www.greatspeechwriting.co.uk.

All the best,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time”

A couple of weeks ago I coordinated a fabulous wedding reception event in East London.  If you’re a Londoner or here on holiday, you’ll know that the weather has been absolutely sizzling for the last few weeks – not your typical UK Summer temperatures, as last experienced in July 2006. So, when I was informed that the wedding flowers were being collected from Covent Garden Flower Market more than 36 hours in advance of the wedding event, I felt somewhat uneasy. So I decided to ask Elizabeth Marsh, an award-winning florist, what she advises Brides about “how to prolong the life of your flowers and make sure they are at their best for your wedding or special event”.  Here’s her response:

“A gas called ethylene, which is colourless and odourless, is produced by the old flowers and vegetables, amongst others, and can significantly reduce the life of your flowers.  It is important therefore to keep flowers away from fruit and vegetables (eg the fruit bowl might be out of bounds), smoke in the atmosphere etc and make sure that storage areas for the flowers are well ventilated.  It also helps to keep them cool, as this reduces their sensitivity to ethylene.

Insects and disease can also affect flowers, especially an infection called ‘gray mould’ which can result if the flowers become wet, for example if too many flowers are crammed into one bucket on a hot day and the flowers sweat and so become damp.  If the flowers are left in a box, eg for transportation purposes, and that box is left in the heat at all, once it cools down the condensed moisture could well result in spoilage. Finally, storing flowers for too long even under the correct conditions can also leave the flowers susceptible to gray mould.  One other factor that renders flowers prone to infection is damage when conditioning them.  For this reason always use a sharp knife to cut the stems, handle the heads as little as possible, and be careful not to hold them too tightly.

As cut flowers are removed from the source of food that has sustained them so far, adding a little sugar to the water whilst conditioning them will help to boost them, although after a few hours it might be best to remove them from the sugar solution and put them in plain water.  The addition of sugar can enable the buds to develop properly, attain larger sizes and last longer.  However be careful not add too much sugar as this can damage the foliage on some flowers. 

Some flowers, especially some tropical varieties can sustain chilling damage if refrigerated, so be careful with anthuriums, gerberas, heliconias bouvardia, orchids, birds of paradise etc– these might be better left out of the fridge (if you have one).

Finally, dirty water in the vase or the bucket will produce algae which are sucked up the flower stem and cause blockages so that the flower cannot drink water any more.  To keep the water clean, change it daily, recut the stems each time to remove the initial stages of rot from the tips and possibly add a little bleach.

These are just a few of the things you can do to ensure you have perfect flowers for your special occasion.”

Source: Dr J. N. Sacalis: commercial floral design

Your London Wedding Planner

Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service

You will find that most of your time will be taken up thinking about your wedding reception. Although the ceremony is obviously the most important part of your day, the reception takes up the longest and most sociable part of your day (and night!).

Your reception can be simple and elegant, extravagant, exciting or intimate and calm. It really depends on what you want from it. The reception is likely to reflect a lot of your personality as a couple and this is what your guests will buy into and enjoy. The main thing is that your guests are well entertained and have a great time with you.

The Setting

The first thing you want to think about is where you want to be for your wedding reception. If you would like grand elegance then you might want to have a look at some of the National Trust properties that interest you. A good number have large banqueting halls, equipped with the most magnificent art, fittings and decorations. Some may even provide staff and scene settings in keeping of the period of the venue. There are plenty of privately owned stately homes and gardens that cater for weddings.

If you are looking for something a little different then you could look into hiring a yacht, getting exclusive use of your favourite restaurant, bar or even nightclub.

If you have a particular interest eg. Art, music or theatre then you can look into getting exclusive use of a favourite gallery, theatre or venue. You would be surprised at how many would be interested and accommodating.

The Entertainment

This might be dictated by your wedding venue a little. For example, if you choose a theatre venue, then you could have a small interesting performance followed by live music. In a stately home you might want a string quartet or traditional music for the meal and then a 5 or 6 piece band for some late night dancing.

But what can you offer apart from music? How about a wandering magician? One or two can be available to demonstrate and wow your guests with impressive table magic – don’t worry no clowning or balloon creatures!!

Give your guests something to take home by asking a caricaturist to draw guests on each table at their request. It’s a great conversation starter!

If you have any gardens available then you could look at hiring a croquet set, jenga set or chess set for your guests to play with – you will be surprised at how keen your guests will be to get involved, and again its great for getting people talking!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Freeing up YOUR time and delivering the personal service

So what if it goes all wrong? What if the caterers mess up your food, or the cake doesn’t arrive? What if the DJ is awful and your photographer gets sick? What if the weather is awful and your guests are soaked during the garden ceremony and to top it all of there is a massive family argument??

First of all. Breathe.

 Second of all. This, most likely will not happen to you.

Thirdly. If anything does happen, you can handle it. And this is how:

Cool as a cucumber

You may want to throw a big hissy fit or burst into tears but that is not going to help and it only makes you look bad! So if you hear any bad news the first thing to do is take a moment, process it, say ‘ok’ and follow it up with ‘how do we solve this?’.

The bearer of the bad news has probably come up with several solutions on their way to find you. Listen to them all, ask your bridesmaid or best man for their opinion and let them get on with it!

People will respect and admire your amazing calm head and ability to take it in their stride. It’s also more likely to come to a pleasing solution quicker than if you have a screaming match!

Turn It On Its Head

Ok, so your guests are soaked through. It’s not pleasant but its now the huge talking point of your big day so document it!! Ask your photographer to get as many photos as they can while people are still outside and willing to pose, get them to do something wacky and let loose. There is also the potential for a lovely series of warming up and drying out shots. Beautiful, personal portraiture or people wrapped in towels or fixing themselves.

I was once at a wedding in a hotel where the fire alarm went off and the whole place had to be evacuated just as the evening reception was getting underway. The fire engines arrived and it was thankfully a false alarm. While waiting to get back into the hotel the Groom took some initiative and asked one of the firemen if they would turn on the engine lights and the couple had a romantic, silent first dance in the glow of the dancing lights. They also have a cracking photo of his mother in law with one of the fireman. Totally unforgettable.

Any disaster can be handled coolly, turned on its head and made into something truly unique and exciting about your wedding. Focus on your guests having fun and your family being happy. The rest will fall into place.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Saving you time and delivering the personal service

I have been asked on a few occasions for advice surrounding what you should do if your parents are divorced and you are getting married. For some people this isn’t an issue at all but for others it can be really troubling.

The first thing to decide is if you want both of your parents (and their new partners if they have them) there at all. If you haven’t had much of a relationship with one of your parents since the divorce (especially if you were a child at the time) then you shouldn’t feel pressured into inviting them for the full day. If you want to invite them to the evening only, then that is what you should do.

I understand that these decisions can be difficult and you should take your time over them. Remember that this day is about your happiness and enjoyment and if you are going to be distracted or on edge then you should avoid it.

If you get on well with both of your parents and they are both coming to your wedding then there may be a few more things to consider. Will you be having a top table? And if so are both of your parents (and potentially new partners) going to be sitting there. You can always opt for a ‘sweetheart’ table for just the bride and groom if you think this may be difficult.

If your parents are not on the best of terms and you want to try and keep them occupied and apart at all times then I would usually suggest that you assign one of your friends (preferably not family) to keep an eye on them and intercept at any moments they feel may be appropriate. You can feel safe in knowing that someone is looking out and it takes the pressure off of you.

There are no real answers or correct things to do. You have to go with your instincts as much as possible and what will make your day the least stressful and the most fun that it can be.

I hope that helps.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Everyone loves weddings, and I promise everybody will love yours, but if there is ever a complaint it is always about having to ‘wait around’. There is inevitably always going to be a little time when your guests will be waiting for a short time. You can of course be smart about it and recognize where these lulls may be and arrange a little activity or distraction to keep them occupied.

The largest lull is always between the ceremony and wedding breakfast when the photographs are usually taken. If you are having the reception at a different venue from the ceremony then a little of the time will be taken up by traveling, and the rest with a lovely champagne or drinks reception when they arrive. It will also take a little time to get settled in to the new venue and to find their way around.

If you are having the reception in the same venue as the ceremony then a little more activity may be needed to occupy your guests for this short waiting period.

If you’re in a unique or unusual venue then the simplest thing to do would be to offer a short guided tour of the building and its grounds. Most buildings of this nature will happily provide this service – some guides may even dress in the period of the day and give a much livelier performance than a talk.

If there are substantial grounds or garden areas that you can use then it might be a refreshing idea to provide some lawn games alongside an outside drinks reception. A lovely English favourite would be sipping Pimms, nibbling some fresh strawberries and playing a little croquet. You can also hire giant outdoor chess sets, jenga or other games to try.

You could always ask your photographer for a number of whole wedding shots or family groupings outside of the traditional formats. This makes everyone feel special and included – although this may not be easy in large weddings!

Why not look into creating a little treasure hunt, fun quiz or getting to know you game? Remember the one where you get a famous person’s name and stick it to your forehead then have to ask questions to find out who you are? Silly, yes. But a fabulous ice-breaker, very simple and super easy to manage!

Whatever you decide to do, don’t be afraid to try something a little different. You will actually have much less time than you think!!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

For most couples their wedding day is quite a big family affair. After all, you are both gaining a whole new family before the day is out! Your friends will also be there to enjoy the day with you, support you and wish you well on your new life together.

Many couples like to include or involve their friends or family a little more than just having them along on the day. There are a variety of different ways you can do this and make them feel like they have really contributed.

1. Bridal Party

The ‘highest’ honour is asking your friends and family members to be in your bridal party. Whether you choose to have one bridesmaid or 4 groomsmen is totally up to you. There is no reason why you can’t have a bridesman or a groomslady either!

If you want to give a little nod to a close friend or aunt / uncle with children then consider asking them if their child could be a ring bearer, page boy or flower girl. I guarantee they will be touched.

2. Assign Duties

You will need help on the day, not just in the planning process. Ask your trusted and reliable friends or family members to carry out some specific tasks for you. It could be as simple as making sure your mum always has a full glass of champagne, keeping your dad and your step dad apart, or promising to be the first on the dance floor!

3. Utilise their skills!

Do your friends or family members have any special skills? Think about what they are good at and see if you can fit them into your wedding. Perhaps you have a grandma who is an amazing baker who could make your cake. Maybe your best friend is an interior decorator and he/she’d like to help decorate the venue?

4. Create Together

If you are having a particularly ‘hands-on’ wedding then why not gather your friends and family together to make things for your wedding over a night, weekend or several evenings where you get to socialize and contribute in a big way too. I’m thinking about handmade table decorations, favours, place-cards… (lots of inspiration at http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/decoration-templates#slide_1)

5. Say Something

Asking your close friend or family to speak either during the ceremony or at the reception is a lovely way to be included. Whether it’s a specially selected reading chosen by you (or them) or a speech from the heart, it is a perfectly simple and touching way to get involved.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

I thought I would share with you a conversation I had with a potential client a few days ago. I won’t name her to avoid her feeling any more self conscious – I’ll say this now before she panics.

Basically she is marrying her long-term girlfriend in a civil partnership and she was asking about the etiquette of same sex weddings. Are they the same as heterosexual weddings? Would people have certain expectations of her wedding because it was between two women? And the answer to that is, its your wedding. Only you and your partner can decide what kind of wedding you want and its based entirely on your personality – not your sexuality!

If you are a gay couple that loves camp and flamboyant, then do camp and flamboyant! If you are a lesbian couple that enjoys sailing, then have a nautical theme. You shouldn’t let society or other people’s opinions dictate the decisions you make. Your friends and family are coming to see you get married. They expect only to see you comfortable, happy and having a wonderful time. They want to see little aspects of your personality and the things you enjoy littered throughout the day.

I understand that there are still a number of people who would be uncomfortable in talking about same sex marriages, let alone going to one. I also think it is important to remember that in the UK, it is your right to be able to marry the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and to be treated equally with others.

Do not compromise your dreams and your wishes in fear of other people’s opinions!! A great wedding is a great wedding regardless of who is getting married. Make the most of it – and I’m happy to help!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

 Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service”

As your big day draws ever closer both you and your guests will be thinking about wedding gifts. Even 6 – 8 months in advance you might find people asking if you have any idea what you would like.

I was recently asked when giving a bridal consultation about what happens when guests are only invited to the reception and not the full day. Are they expected to bring a gift? Should you send them information of any registered lists that you have?

Being honest, there are no particular rules on gift giving. Generally speaking I would not send my evening invite guests information of any gift registers. But there are a few exceptions eg:

- the wedding ceremony itself is a very small affair (perhaps due to venue restrictions) and the majority of guests are only invited to the wedding reception

- the wedding itself is abroad and this is a 2^nd celebration which all guests are invited to.

In most cases I would expect no more than a card from evening guests although you will find that many will give you a small gift or cash to go alongside it. If I was attending an evening wedding reception then I suppose I would make my choice based on how well I know the couple. For example, if I am invited as a friend of the parents of the bride or groom then a card is probably adequate. If I am invited as a long-term acquaintance then I would most likely give a monetary token, gift voucher or a small but thoughtful gift.

As the Bride and Groom, you can let guests know simply if you would not like to receive any gifts. Just add a little line to your invite stating that you only need the gift of their presence.

As guests, you probably have an idea of the couple’s personality and what they might expect from you. With this you just have to go with your gut!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time“

When you are starting to think more about the schedule of your wedding day you may be asked whether you would like the services of a Master Of Ceremonies.

In most cases the hotel or venue that you are holding your reception will have someone on staff that they offer up as the Master Of Ceremonies. I have seen some wonderful examples of Masters…and some pretty awful ones too, so do have a think about the following before you make a decision.

The Master Of Ceremonies is the person who will be leading you and your guests through your wedding day from the front end. (This is different to the wedding planner/coordinator who will be dealing with the scheduling behind the scenes).

They will usually announce you into dinner, announce the speeches, act as guest liaison and announce the cutting of the cake and first dance. They are the front line personality of your wedding. This person will be seen as the main contact for any guests with a query or special request.

Your Master Of Ceremonies should have a good command of the space, a welcoming a friendly demeanor, excellent customer services skills…and a cheerful personality.

When a venue provides a Master Of Ceremonies they are usually excellent at accommodating guests, keeping everything running along nicely and informing everyone about what is happening but they may lack a little confidence if they are not a natural public speaker.

You could choose an alternative, independent Master Of Ceremonies – they are available to hire and I would always advise an ‘interview’ process to find your match.

The other place to look is within your family and friends. Is there anyone that you think you would be able to manage the challenge of guiding everyone through the day, charm your aunties and answer your granddad’s awkward questions? If so then they could be your man – or woman!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix, Your London Wedding Planner

Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service