Matchmaking The Bride To The Vendors

Dear Bride and Groom,

Have you ever had that experience when you are engaging someone to carry out some work for you – whether its fitting a bathroom, servicing your car or excavating your garden – that you have a ‘feeling’ you are not going to get on with them?

That is not you being picky. That’s just your common sense kicking in highlighting that in some way your personalities clash. It could be something small and it may not affect the job at all, but you hesitate nonetheless. I’m not necessarily talking about trust here, but about the way you can communicate.

When you are engaging someone to provide a product or service for your wedding I think it’s important that your personalities match. Why? Because you are probably going to have to speak to them a lot – and during some times when you are fairly stressed out!

I would always advise my brides (or grooms) to ‘interview’ at least 3 different vendors before making a decision. A simple conversation can be enough and usually your gut instinct will tell you who you should work with.

Let me give you an example.

I was working with a fairly successful, strong-willed and organized bride about 6 months ago. We were visiting a number of florists that day and I had picked 2 for the morning that I thought she might like.

The first florist was a local vendor, fairly new to the area having just branched out on her own, but very experienced in wedding flowers. She talked through all the ideas with the bride, explained different options and showed examples. She then talked through how she would sketch out designs and send email them to her for approval so they could discuss changes without having to see each other face to face. Everything was very detailed, clear and the florist seemed totally in control.

The second florist, also a local vendor, but more established with a number of awards under her belt was much more informal. She asked about colours and flower types, took an address and said she’d be happy to send on a quote. She offered a few books to look at and point out anything that the bride liked. The whole encounter was very informal, chatty and pleasant.

Can you guess which florist my bride chose? Of course, the first! Although she thought the second florist seemed great she realized that her laid back personality would just send her into a panic. She felt the first had a reassuring business-like quality that she could relate to.

Don’t worry about judging people. They completely understand! And remember its just as hard for them to do their job if your personalities are clashing!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Luxury Weddings in London, South East and the UK

The Art of Negotiating Contracts

Dear Bride and Groom,

I know that some of you will have read the title and panicked already! I find that, generally speaking, a lot of people are afraid of negotiation. There is a fear that you won’t get what you want or you will be overpowered by the other party’s persuasiveness or slick style.

First of all…Everyone can negotiate! It’s all about knowing what you want, what you are willing to back down on and how to arm yourself for success! Think about it. You negotiate with your partner all the time. It might be about the destination of your holiday, the date of your wedding or which restaurant you want to go to that weekend.

Think about these simple things when you are negotiating a contract and you will be cool, confident and come out with what you want.

Prepare!

- Make a list of exactly what you want from the supplier or service provider. (As much detail as possible if you can!)

- Make a list of a few things that you would be happy to compromise on if it came to it. Eg. A change in delivery time, one less vegetarian option, eustoma instead of sweet peas.

- Set a limit to how much you are willing to spend.

- Shop around and get a few separate quotes and recommendations.

- Shortlist your favourite suppliers and arrange meetings.

Discuss

- Take your notes with you to the meeting.

- Take plenty of notes about what they tell you and discuss any comparisons with other companies / suppliers with them. They will work hard to secure your business – especially if it’s over a small price difference!

- Don’t be taken in by any incentives to ‘sign that day’. Make it clear to them that you are speaking to a number of people and that you will make a decision when you have spoken to everyone you wish to.

- Do not compromise on anything that is on your ‘must have’ list. If they can’t or won’t provide this, walk away. Or if they say they can but there is conditions attached, be clear that you would rather go with a company that can assure you of delivery.

- Listen. Remember they are the experts. They may be able to offer you insightful input to make things easier for you.

Sign

-  Contact your favourite supplier and have them draw up a quote or contract stipulating all of your preferences and the terms you have agreed upon.

And that’s it, you’ve negotiated your contracts without fuss or pain!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Wedding Celebrations – It’s Not All Over!

Dear Bride and Groom,

I hear a lot of couples (and their parents) talking about the wedding being only one day. That in 24 hours it has been and gone and then you just seamlessly roll on into married life.

I would like to dispel this myth! I have rarely (actually, probably never) been to or planned a wedding where there hasn’t been some social occasion directly related to it before or after the ‘ big day’ itself. It is an important time and it isn’t very often that you get to celebrate with friends and family in such a way so I would always encourage you to make the most of it. Here are a few of my suggestions.

Engagement Party

Starting right at the very beginning! It is becoming customary to have a party to officially announce your engagement. Naturally people want to celebrate the good news with you so why not make it easier. You could have an intimate dinner in the private dining room of your favourite restaurant, or a simple champagne and canapé reception in a nearby hotel or classy bar. If you want to keep things very low key you can have drinks and nibbles at your house (or your parent’s house for the more traditional couples).

Stag and Hen Parties

Wherever you are in the world it seems traditional to have a final separate ‘send off’ for the bride and groom. Organised predominantly by the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honour the Stag or Hen celebration is a great warm up to your big day. All of your friends get to meet together – some for the first time – and throw caution to the wind.

If your idea of a good time is not dressing up in matching printed t-shirts and horns then that is absolutely ok! For the gents why not think about a day of paintballing or racetrack driving followed by a great hearty meal and drinks. Perhaps the ladies might like a pampering and photography session or a cocktail and chocolate making class followed by drinks and dancing.

You can always make a weekend out of it – I would always recommend a city break to your favourite European capital. You are almost certainly guaranteed good food and wine!

Mehndi Parties

Traditionally, Indian brides would get together with all of her female friends and family the night before the wedding and have a Mehndi Party. During this evening the bride would have beautifully, intricate henna tattoos painted on her hands and feet to be especially beautiful for her wedding.

Many UK brides are becoming more interested in Mehndi parties for their traditional wedding celebrations – sometimes playing a part in their hen party. Remember if you don’t want to have the tattoo on the day of your wedding then you should plan the party at least 6 weeks in advance to make sure it has worn off in time.

Rehearsal Dinner

I think that a rehearsal dinner is a very important part of your wedding planning and celebrations. It gives your bridal party an opportunity to settle into their roles and your family and friends an opportunity to get to know each other a little before the celebrations. Ideally it should be the evening before the wedding and not go on too late so you can be refreshed in the morning.

It should definitely have a relaxed atmosphere and a little of the couple’s personality shining through! Again, your favourite restaurant (or even your parent’s back garden) is a great way to get everyone together and talking.

And if you can’t manage the day before, why not consider a brunch the day after your wedding to thank your guests again for coming and let them look fondly on the previous days events.

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Luxury Weddings in London & Home Counties