Dear Bride and Groom,

I thought I would share with you a conversation I had with a potential client a few days ago. I won’t name her to avoid her feeling any more self conscious – I’ll say this now before she panics.

Basically she is marrying her long-term girlfriend in a civil partnership and she was asking about the etiquette of same sex weddings. Are they the same as heterosexual weddings? Would people have certain expectations of her wedding because it was between two women? And the answer to that is, its your wedding. Only you and your partner can decide what kind of wedding you want and its based entirely on your personality – not your sexuality!

If you are a gay couple that loves camp and flamboyant, then do camp and flamboyant! If you are a lesbian couple that enjoys sailing, then have a nautical theme. You shouldn’t let society or other people’s opinions dictate the decisions you make. Your friends and family are coming to see you get married. They expect only to see you comfortable, happy and having a wonderful time. They want to see little aspects of your personality and the things you enjoy littered throughout the day.

I understand that there are still a number of people who would be uncomfortable in talking about same sex marriages, let alone going to one. I also think it is important to remember that in the UK, it is your right to be able to marry the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and to be treated equally with others.

Do not compromise your dreams and your wishes in fear of other people’s opinions!! A great wedding is a great wedding regardless of who is getting married. Make the most of it – and I’m happy to help!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

 Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service”

Dear Bride and Groom,

Britain and the USA have a great relationship. Both countries are heavily influenced by each other. As Brits we love the American confidence, glamour, sunshine and positivity. Americans love the British accent, the romance, history and tradition.

Much like in the UK the USA is seeing a decline in marriage rates. The couples that do get married are also marrying much older.

In the UK the average age of the first time bride is 29 and in the US it is 26. These have been slowly rising over the past few decades. For most men in the UK they would expect to be in their early thirties before getting married and in the US they wouldn’t be too far off at 28. Only a few decades ago your mother would have been giving you worried glances if you were unmarried in your late twenties, now you will be seen as a young bride or groom!

We are both equally extravagant in the amount we spend on our weddings too. The average bill in the USA comes to around $30k (just over £19k at the current exchange) and in the UK we spend a little more at around £22k ($33k). The Brits are also eager to marry with the average engagement being 18 months to America’s 19.

There are no huge differences in the wedding ceremonies and celebrations themselves. Many of our traditions have been amalgamated and mixed in with other cultures and country’s traditions. Indeed what is legal and expected in England is different to that in Scotland and so on. As long as the legal vows are said and the certificate is signed, all is well!

One thing I did enjoy at a recent American wedding was a rather extravagant ‘Groom’s Cake’. Although I didn’t much care for them stuffing it into each other’s mouths…can’t comment if that is necessarily traditional though!

Happy planning!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Dear Bride and Groom,

Civil ceremonies are one of the most popular wedding ceremonies which can be held either in a registry office or an ‘approved place’  (usually a hotel or other selected venue) of your choice.

It is important to note that if you choose to by wed by a registrar that they are not permitted, by law, to include any religious aspects into the ceremony. If including any kind of religious aspect is important to you (even a prayer) then I would strongly advise you to look further into a religious ceremony at your chosen place of worship.

Civil ceremonies are often short and sweet. The whole thing from start to finish usually lasts no more than around 20 minutes. Of course this can be extended by adding elements to your ceremony to personalise the day. I would always recommend that you select one or two songs or pieces of music which have significance to you both to be played at certain points of the ceremony and I also think that a number of readings by friends or family is a lovely touch. I must mention again that these selections must not be religious and if you have any doubt you should speak to your registrar.

There are a number of legalities that you have to go through in order to ensure that the marriage can be carried out legally. The points that follow are specific to England and Wales. If you are getting married in Scotland or Northern Ireland then the process is slightly different so please be careful to check with the local authority.

In England and Wales it is necessary to give notice in advance about the civil marriage or partnership. You need to have lived in the area where you intend to give notice for a minimum of seven days to satisfy residency requirements. You and your partner must give notice, in person, to your local registry office (even if they are different). It is also advised that if you are getting married in a different area that you contact the local office there at the same time to make sure that someone will be available.

In order to give notice you need to provide some simple information;

• Full name 
• Age – the minimum legal age in England and Wales is 16 years of age
• Address
• Nationality
• Current status – for example single, divorced
• Occupation

• Intended venue for your marriage or civil partnership

You may be required to prove your ID, status or nationality so double check you have a current passport, birth certificate and any documents relating to previous partnerships to hand.

The notice will then be publicly displayed for fifteen days after which authority is granted and the notice remains valid for a year, as long as the venue remains the same. 

If you are not getting married in the registry office then you will be required to pick up a Certificate of Authority to be given to the officiant conducting the ceremony in order for it to go ahead. Your registrar will contact you to arrange a time to pick this up.

The only other legal requirement is that during a civil ceremony or partnership a statutory ‘Declaratory’ and ‘Contracting’ statement must be read by the bride and groom to make the marriage lawful.

These statements are;

Declaratory Statement

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, (your full name),

 may not be joined in matrimony to (your partner’s full name).

Contracting Statement

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, (your full name),

 do take thee, (your partner’s full name),

to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband).

There are also more ‘modern’ versions that your registrar can advise you on when you meet.

For more information on the legality and process of civil or religious marriages please visit http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Yourrightsandresponsibilities/DG_10026937

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the personal service