Same Sex Weddings Vs Heterosexual Weddings

Dear Bride and Groom,

I thought I would share with you a conversation I had with a potential client a few days ago. I won’t name her to avoid her feeling any more self conscious – I’ll say this now before she panics.

Basically she is marrying her long-term girlfriend in a civil partnership and she was asking about the etiquette of same sex weddings. Are they the same as heterosexual weddings? Would people have certain expectations of her wedding because it was between two women? And the answer to that is, its your wedding. Only you and your partner can decide what kind of wedding you want and its based entirely on your personality – not your sexuality!

If you are a gay couple that loves camp and flamboyant, then do camp and flamboyant! If you are a lesbian couple that enjoys sailing, then have a nautical theme. You shouldn’t let society or other people’s opinions dictate the decisions you make. Your friends and family are coming to see you get married. They expect only to see you comfortable, happy and having a wonderful time. They want to see little aspects of your personality and the things you enjoy littered throughout the day.

I understand that there are still a number of people who would be uncomfortable in talking about same sex marriages, let alone going to one. I also think it is important to remember that in the UK, it is your right to be able to marry the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and to be treated equally with others.

Do not compromise your dreams and your wishes in fear of other people’s opinions!! A great wedding is a great wedding regardless of who is getting married. Make the most of it – and I’m happy to help!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

 Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service”

The role of a Wedding Planner

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may have been reading this blog for a little while, or perhaps this is your first visit but you may have noticed that I offer up a lot of advice to you here. I imagined that you were perhaps starting to wonder what you could use me for if I’m giving you all my tips! Well here are a few things to demonstrate exactly what a wedding planner does for you.

Where has the time gone?

Whether you have 2 years or 2 months to plan your wedding, you never have enough time. If one or both of you are working it is even harder to find the time to call venues, suppliers etc to organize meetings, check details etc – especially when most of them are working the same hours as you are!

As a wedding planner I have the time to get information, check details, call, meet, negotiate and secure all the services you need. Believe me, it’s a lot of work and you don’t want to feel like you are making decisions in a rush!

Delegate Delegate Delegate

If you are planning a wedding on your own it is most likely that you will delegate some tasks out to friends and family to help you. But when and how do you check up on them? And what if they haven’t completed what they asked you to? Or it’s not the way you would like it to be?

If I were helping you to plan your wedding you would know every detail would be catered for and every request met, at a timetable to suit you!

Idea Generator

It can be difficult to think or be imaginative about what you want your wedding to be like when you are under pressure to get dates set, write guest lists etc. Maybe you have an idea but you have no idea how to make it a reality.

I would be at your side to translate your ideas into reality. You tell me what you are looking for, I research some ideas for you and all you have to do is choose! I can pick up on all the little details that will make it extra special for you. And you can focus on that invite list!

Contracts and Negotiation

As I have a good reputation with many suppliers, contractors and venues I can secure you great rates, excellent service and the best in the business. Negotiating can be nerve wracking and time consuming. I can take that swiftly off of your hands!

The Day

The Big Day, is your day. You should be able to enjoy it. If you are stressing about timetables, deliveries, schedules etc you will not be concentrating on enjoying yourself!

As your wedding planner I will be there to ensure that everything runs perfectly smoothly. I am your go to person, so if you have a question or request you just need to whisper in my ear and its done!

And the beauty of it is your guests won’t have a clue – they’ll just be having a wonderful time!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the Personal Service

Civil Ceremonies in England and Wales

Dear Bride and Groom,

Civil ceremonies are one of the most popular wedding ceremonies which can be held either in a registry office or an ‘approved place’  (usually a hotel or other selected venue) of your choice.

It is important to note that if you choose to by wed by a registrar that they are not permitted, by law, to include any religious aspects into the ceremony. If including any kind of religious aspect is important to you (even a prayer) then I would strongly advise you to look further into a religious ceremony at your chosen place of worship.

Civil ceremonies are often short and sweet. The whole thing from start to finish usually lasts no more than around 20 minutes. Of course this can be extended by adding elements to your ceremony to personalise the day. I would always recommend that you select one or two songs or pieces of music which have significance to you both to be played at certain points of the ceremony and I also think that a number of readings by friends or family is a lovely touch. I must mention again that these selections must not be religious and if you have any doubt you should speak to your registrar.

There are a number of legalities that you have to go through in order to ensure that the marriage can be carried out legally. The points that follow are specific to England and Wales. If you are getting married in Scotland or Northern Ireland then the process is slightly different so please be careful to check with the local authority.

In England and Wales it is necessary to give notice in advance about the civil marriage or partnership. You need to have lived in the area where you intend to give notice for a minimum of seven days to satisfy residency requirements. You and your partner must give notice, in person, to your local registry office (even if they are different). It is also advised that if you are getting married in a different area that you contact the local office there at the same time to make sure that someone will be available.

In order to give notice you need to provide some simple information;

  • Full name 
  • Age – the minimum legal age in England and Wales is 16 years of age
  • Address
  • Nationality
  • Current status – for example single, divorced
  • Occupation
  • Intended venue for your marriage or civil partnership

You may be required to prove your ID, status or nationality so double check you have a current passport, birth certificate and any documents relating to previous partnerships to hand.

The notice will then be publicly displayed for fifteen days after which authority is granted and the notice remains valid for a year, as long as the venue remains the same. 

If you are not getting married in the registry office then you will be required to pick up a Certificate of Authority to be given to the officiant conducting the ceremony in order for it to go ahead. Your registrar will contact you to arrange a time to pick this up.

The only other legal requirement is that during a civil ceremony or partnership a statutory ‘Declaratory’ and ‘Contracting’ statement must be read by the bride and groom to make the marriage lawful.

These statements are;

Declaratory Statement

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, (your full name),

 may not be joined in matrimony to (your partner’s full name).

 

Contracting Statement

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, (your full name),

 do take thee, (your partner’s full name),

to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband).

There are also more ‘modern’ versions that your registrar can advise you on when you meet.

For more information on the legality and process of civil or religious marriages please visit http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Yourrightsandresponsibilities/DG_10026937

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the personal service

What kind of Wedding do you want?

Dear Bride & Groom,

Firstly, my warmest congratulations on your decision to tie the knot!  So what type of wedding would you like?  Perhaps I can give you some guidance to help you decide…

Wedding ceremonies come in all shapes and sizes. It’s important to thoroughly research and explore the advantages of whichever type of wedding you’d prefer. This will allow you to gain a valuable insight, not only with regards to the planning of the event – but also for the overall reception of your union.

Civil Partnerships

Due to the lack of endorsement by the Church, and the majority of religious organizations – many gay couples are restricted to wedding in a civil ceremony, in a venue that is unlikely to be a church. This is unfortunate, but there are many ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. Search for venues that hold the same grandeur of Religious buildings; grand high ceilings and ornate furnishings, along with perhaps an alter can be found in buildings such as castles, mansions and even disused churches or churches that have been converted. Many venues cater for civil partnerships and provide the most lavish and beautiful catering – so curb any anxiety you may have, and relax knowing that you can secure your dream wedding, with a little effort and planning.

Religious Weddings

Certainly the most common of wedding ceremonies, a religious wedding can come in many shapes and sizes; whether it be Hindu, Islamic, Roman Catholic, Jewish or Protestant. Many couples nowadays marry partners of differing faiths, and this need not be a worry for those who are struggling to decide where and how to be married.

Very often nowadays, different religious practitioners will work together in order to create an inter-faith ceremony wherein both of your families can be content with the blessings of both religious organizations.  Nonetheless, not all faiths are as flexible as others, so make sure you research this early on.

Of course a religious ceremony doesn’t have to occur in a place of worship, you can still hold this kind of ceremony in a castle, outdoors – anywhere the religious body will accept and that can legally serve as a wedding location.

Non-Traditional Weddings

Very much similar to the above, a non traditional ceremony can be non-specific to any religion, or if one of your is more religious – some of the overtones can be addressed to that particular religion to suit your tastes. Non-traditional weddings take many forms and can often be a huge relief in the length of the ceremony for those who choose not to rely on the religious aspects of the ceremony.  Humanist Weddings are increasingly popular and worth looking into if you want a special ceremony but without the religion thrown in.

Regardless of how you decide to wed – at Your London Wedding Planner, we can give you as much or as little help as you want. It really depends on how much control (and fun) you want to have.  It also depends on how much time you’ve got!

Drop us a line to discuss the possibilities?

Kind Regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner