Are you trying to write a wedding speech, and wondering where to begin or what to say? Feeling frustrated? Well, I know someone who would be absoutely delighted to help you, even if it’s just a bit of friendly advice over the phone  - he’s a professional speech writer in London.

I met Laurence and Anna (they’re business partners) earlier this year. We had a super conversation about Wedding Speech Etiquette.  Well, to cut a long story short, I asked Laurence to give me some tips, to help my Grooms with their speech delivery, and here’s what he came back with:

Do

Talk slowly. If it takes 12 minutes, not nine, it doesn’t matter at all.
Pause for effect. Your audience need time to digest the story before they get the punchline. So give them time to get it.
Emphasise key words. Imagine you’re telling a story without a script. You’ll say some words louder than most. And change your inflection on others.
Practise. However well written the speech, you don’t want to be ‘reading’ it. Know it well enough that it just becomes a safety net.
Gesticulate. Body language is vital. If you’re addressing someone, look at them. Use your arms to emphasise a point.

Don’t

Be put off by a heckle. You can pre-prepare a couple of responses to a noisy member of the crowd.

Give in to the shakes. Paste your speech onto card. Or rest it somewhere you can see it. Find out if there’s a lectern. Holding a shaky piece of paper will put you off before you get going.

Get drunk beforehand. It may feel like the easy way to get through it, but it won’t seem so sensible afterwards.
Just read it out. Great material is irrelevant if it’s delivered badly. You’ll be much more natural when you’re not reading straight from the page.

There’s plenty more helpful advice about preparing and delivering a wedding speech on Laurence’s web site. Visit www.greatspeechwriting.co.uk.

All the best,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time”

A couple of weeks ago I coordinated a fabulous wedding reception event in East London.  If you’re a Londoner or here on holiday, you’ll know that the weather has been absolutely sizzling for the last few weeks – not your typical UK Summer temperatures, as last experienced in July 2006. So, when I was informed that the wedding flowers were being collected from Covent Garden Flower Market more than 36 hours in advance of the wedding event, I felt somewhat uneasy. So I decided to ask Elizabeth Marsh, an award-winning florist, what she advises Brides about “how to prolong the life of your flowers and make sure they are at their best for your wedding or special event”.  Here’s her response:

“A gas called ethylene, which is colourless and odourless, is produced by the old flowers and vegetables, amongst others, and can significantly reduce the life of your flowers.  It is important therefore to keep flowers away from fruit and vegetables (eg the fruit bowl might be out of bounds), smoke in the atmosphere etc and make sure that storage areas for the flowers are well ventilated.  It also helps to keep them cool, as this reduces their sensitivity to ethylene.

Insects and disease can also affect flowers, especially an infection called ‘gray mould’ which can result if the flowers become wet, for example if too many flowers are crammed into one bucket on a hot day and the flowers sweat and so become damp.  If the flowers are left in a box, eg for transportation purposes, and that box is left in the heat at all, once it cools down the condensed moisture could well result in spoilage. Finally, storing flowers for too long even under the correct conditions can also leave the flowers susceptible to gray mould.  One other factor that renders flowers prone to infection is damage when conditioning them.  For this reason always use a sharp knife to cut the stems, handle the heads as little as possible, and be careful not to hold them too tightly.

As cut flowers are removed from the source of food that has sustained them so far, adding a little sugar to the water whilst conditioning them will help to boost them, although after a few hours it might be best to remove them from the sugar solution and put them in plain water.  The addition of sugar can enable the buds to develop properly, attain larger sizes and last longer.  However be careful not add too much sugar as this can damage the foliage on some flowers. 

Some flowers, especially some tropical varieties can sustain chilling damage if refrigerated, so be careful with anthuriums, gerberas, heliconias bouvardia, orchids, birds of paradise etc– these might be better left out of the fridge (if you have one).

Finally, dirty water in the vase or the bucket will produce algae which are sucked up the flower stem and cause blockages so that the flower cannot drink water any more.  To keep the water clean, change it daily, recut the stems each time to remove the initial stages of rot from the tips and possibly add a little bleach.

These are just a few of the things you can do to ensure you have perfect flowers for your special occasion.”

Source: Dr J. N. Sacalis: commercial floral design

Your London Wedding Planner

Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service

So what if it goes all wrong? What if the caterers mess up your food, or the cake doesn’t arrive? What if the DJ is awful and your photographer gets sick? What if the weather is awful and your guests are soaked during the garden ceremony and to top it all of there is a massive family argument??

First of all. Breathe.

 Second of all. This, most likely will not happen to you.

Thirdly. If anything does happen, you can handle it. And this is how:

Cool as a cucumber

You may want to throw a big hissy fit or burst into tears but that is not going to help and it only makes you look bad! So if you hear any bad news the first thing to do is take a moment, process it, say ‘ok’ and follow it up with ‘how do we solve this?’.

The bearer of the bad news has probably come up with several solutions on their way to find you. Listen to them all, ask your bridesmaid or best man for their opinion and let them get on with it!

People will respect and admire your amazing calm head and ability to take it in their stride. It’s also more likely to come to a pleasing solution quicker than if you have a screaming match!

Turn It On Its Head

Ok, so your guests are soaked through. It’s not pleasant but its now the huge talking point of your big day so document it!! Ask your photographer to get as many photos as they can while people are still outside and willing to pose, get them to do something wacky and let loose. There is also the potential for a lovely series of warming up and drying out shots. Beautiful, personal portraiture or people wrapped in towels or fixing themselves.

I was once at a wedding in a hotel where the fire alarm went off and the whole place had to be evacuated just as the evening reception was getting underway. The fire engines arrived and it was thankfully a false alarm. While waiting to get back into the hotel the Groom took some initiative and asked one of the firemen if they would turn on the engine lights and the couple had a romantic, silent first dance in the glow of the dancing lights. They also have a cracking photo of his mother in law with one of the fireman. Totally unforgettable.

Any disaster can be handled coolly, turned on its head and made into something truly unique and exciting about your wedding. Focus on your guests having fun and your family being happy. The rest will fall into place.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Saving you time and delivering the personal service

I have been asked on a few occasions for advice surrounding what you should do if your parents are divorced and you are getting married. For some people this isn’t an issue at all but for others it can be really troubling.

The first thing to decide is if you want both of your parents (and their new partners if they have them) there at all. If you haven’t had much of a relationship with one of your parents since the divorce (especially if you were a child at the time) then you shouldn’t feel pressured into inviting them for the full day. If you want to invite them to the evening only, then that is what you should do.

I understand that these decisions can be difficult and you should take your time over them. Remember that this day is about your happiness and enjoyment and if you are going to be distracted or on edge then you should avoid it.

If you get on well with both of your parents and they are both coming to your wedding then there may be a few more things to consider. Will you be having a top table? And if so are both of your parents (and potentially new partners) going to be sitting there. You can always opt for a ‘sweetheart’ table for just the bride and groom if you think this may be difficult.

If your parents are not on the best of terms and you want to try and keep them occupied and apart at all times then I would usually suggest that you assign one of your friends (preferably not family) to keep an eye on them and intercept at any moments they feel may be appropriate. You can feel safe in knowing that someone is looking out and it takes the pressure off of you.

There are no real answers or correct things to do. You have to go with your instincts as much as possible and what will make your day the least stressful and the most fun that it can be.

I hope that helps.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Everyone loves weddings, and I promise everybody will love yours, but if there is ever a complaint it is always about having to ‘wait around’. There is inevitably always going to be a little time when your guests will be waiting for a short time. You can of course be smart about it and recognize where these lulls may be and arrange a little activity or distraction to keep them occupied.

The largest lull is always between the ceremony and wedding breakfast when the photographs are usually taken. If you are having the reception at a different venue from the ceremony then a little of the time will be taken up by traveling, and the rest with a lovely champagne or drinks reception when they arrive. It will also take a little time to get settled in to the new venue and to find their way around.

If you are having the reception in the same venue as the ceremony then a little more activity may be needed to occupy your guests for this short waiting period.

If you’re in a unique or unusual venue then the simplest thing to do would be to offer a short guided tour of the building and its grounds. Most buildings of this nature will happily provide this service – some guides may even dress in the period of the day and give a much livelier performance than a talk.

If there are substantial grounds or garden areas that you can use then it might be a refreshing idea to provide some lawn games alongside an outside drinks reception. A lovely English favourite would be sipping Pimms, nibbling some fresh strawberries and playing a little croquet. You can also hire giant outdoor chess sets, jenga or other games to try.

You could always ask your photographer for a number of whole wedding shots or family groupings outside of the traditional formats. This makes everyone feel special and included – although this may not be easy in large weddings!

Why not look into creating a little treasure hunt, fun quiz or getting to know you game? Remember the one where you get a famous person’s name and stick it to your forehead then have to ask questions to find out who you are? Silly, yes. But a fabulous ice-breaker, very simple and super easy to manage!

Whatever you decide to do, don’t be afraid to try something a little different. You will actually have much less time than you think!!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

For most couples their wedding day is quite a big family affair. After all, you are both gaining a whole new family before the day is out! Your friends will also be there to enjoy the day with you, support you and wish you well on your new life together.

Many couples like to include or involve their friends or family a little more than just having them along on the day. There are a variety of different ways you can do this and make them feel like they have really contributed.

1. Bridal Party

The ‘highest’ honour is asking your friends and family members to be in your bridal party. Whether you choose to have one bridesmaid or 4 groomsmen is totally up to you. There is no reason why you can’t have a bridesman or a groomslady either!

If you want to give a little nod to a close friend or aunt / uncle with children then consider asking them if their child could be a ring bearer, page boy or flower girl. I guarantee they will be touched.

2. Assign Duties

You will need help on the day, not just in the planning process. Ask your trusted and reliable friends or family members to carry out some specific tasks for you. It could be as simple as making sure your mum always has a full glass of champagne, keeping your dad and your step dad apart, or promising to be the first on the dance floor!

3. Utilise their skills!

Do your friends or family members have any special skills? Think about what they are good at and see if you can fit them into your wedding. Perhaps you have a grandma who is an amazing baker who could make your cake. Maybe your best friend is an interior decorator and he/she’d like to help decorate the venue?

4. Create Together

If you are having a particularly ‘hands-on’ wedding then why not gather your friends and family together to make things for your wedding over a night, weekend or several evenings where you get to socialize and contribute in a big way too. I’m thinking about handmade table decorations, favours, place-cards… (lots of inspiration at http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/decoration-templates#slide_1)

5. Say Something

Asking your close friend or family to speak either during the ceremony or at the reception is a lovely way to be included. Whether it’s a specially selected reading chosen by you (or them) or a speech from the heart, it is a perfectly simple and touching way to get involved.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

I think it is really wonderful that so many couples I meet wish to write, and read their own vows on their wedding day. It certainly adds something incredibly personal to the ceremony and really lets your friends, family and partner get a sense of everything you are thinking and feeling on this special day.

I also know that it can be a daunting task to undertake as I’ve been there myself! You may not feel you are an eloquent writer or that you don’t know how to put everything into words. Often I see one person striving ahead and writing two or three versions of the script leaving the other panicking! Here are my two top tips if you are having trouble writing your vows;

• Keep it simple and say what you mean.
• Less doesn’t mean more. Keep it short!

It often helps if you can add a structure to your vows. For example start with a little background;

When I met you… (I knew I could never look at anyone in the same way I look at you)

On our first date…(I wished I could always make you smile)

The first time we were apart… (I realised I couldn’t live without you)

Moving in together… (I knew that home was where you were)

Getting engaged… (I put my heart in your hands)

Then turn these pivotal moments into your vows;

I promise I will only have eyes for you.

I will always make it my mission to see you smiling.

I will always be there for you. Near or far. Even in the times you don’t want me there.

I promise that our home will always be our haven and I will keep you safe forever.

I will let you carry my heart with you always, as you let me carry yours. 

You can choose any moments in your life together which you feel are special. Those moments that you recall together and laugh about or cry about and map those defining moment in your relationship which make it so special. They can be silly or touching or maybe even forgotten. This also helps to keep it truly personal to you.

And don’t feel you have to write them alone! Ask your partner to work with you and enjoy the experience of doing this special task together. When they hear the vows again on the day it will be like the first time.

I know that saying them out loud on the day could be a nerve wracking experience for you – especially if you are not a fan of public speaking!

Do not be afraid to rehearse! By repeating these vows to yourself over and over you will find they seed themselves so deeply that you won’t feel you have to wrack your brain to remember them and that they will come naturally.

You don’t need to learn them off by heart, and nerves may get the better of you so it is perfectly acceptable to carry a little note with you to prompt you if you get flustered.

Practice with your bridesmaids or groomsmen and speak as confidently and clearly as you can. Accept that you might get teary, and accept that its ok to be emotional. Take a deep breath and you can get to the end.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Specialising in Luxury Weddings in London

I cannot over emphasise the importance of budgeting.  Your whole wedding has to stem from this point. What is the total (the absolute maximum) that you are willing and able to spend on your wedding? Once you know this, for certain, write it down and make a promise to stick to it!

It is very easy to get carried away. It’s only an extra hundred for this and only another 10 of those, but you can quickly become carried away. You need to set out your budget right at the beginning and keep revisiting it to make sure you are on track.

I have created a really easy to use Interactive Budget Manager for my couples. Together we take the total budget for the wedding and allocate it to different ‘sections’ as a percentage. By thinking of different elements of your wedding in ‘sections’ or ‘chunks’ you will find this a much easier task. An example of a section could be; Attire, Entertainment or Reception. You can allocate more or less money to each section based on the percentage you allocate it, and tweak it to suit.

As I mentioned you also need to track what you actually spend. Your budget will be based on assumptions until you get solid quotes through, so you need to make sure that if things are costing a little more than anticipated, you spot it immediately in your budget and tweak other areas to make sure you come out even. And don’t forget that deposits count too! Even though you could be laying a deposit 2 – 3 years in advance make sure you include it in the total so you know realistically what you have spent.

The wonderful thing about working with a wedding planner is that they will spend the time to get you the best deal from the best suppliers. I would always advise speaking to a minimum of 3 suppliers for each element of your wedding. This way you can gauge the standard of their work, reliability and cost and take it all into consideration before making a decision. Savvy shopping will ensure you get the best from your budget!

I know of many couples that have taken out a loan or even re-mortgaged their home to pay for the wedding they desire. I would suggest that these are rather drastic measures that should only be taken if you are absolutely sure you can enjoy life fully after the wedding is over!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Wedding & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, contact Kim Rix on 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

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You may be considering using a wedding planner for a number of reasons. Perhaps you feel under pressure for time, you are not sure where to start or you know exactly what you want and you are looking for someone who can help you see it through from beginning to end.

There are plenty of people in the UK (and abroad) who sell themselves as a Wedding Planner but how do you know who to trust?

Here are my tips for finding the wedding planner who suits you.

Recommendations

The most obvious way to find out if a wedding planner is any good is through recommendation. This could be a personal recommendation from a friend, family member or acquaintance but if it doesn’t come through them there is another way to find out.  Ask the planner if he / she has any testimonials from previous clients or even suppliers that you can talk to.

Documentation

Any planner worth their salt will have examples of previous weddings. This can include photographs, budgets, scrapbooks of research materials and even copies of invites and ceremonies.  A good planner should sit and go through some of these with you and give examples of wedding that are close to your ideas.

Budgeting / Contracting

A wedding planner should always be upfront about their charges and not add on any ‘extras’ that haven’t been discussed. You should always get a contract between yourself and the planner that details all the services you should be receiving and also any obligations that you should fulfil. If your planner is hesitant about budgets or doesn’t produce a contract I would steer clear.

Connections

One of the great benefits of using a planner is that they have fantastic connections with service and product suppliers. The planner should be able to give you a list of good suppliers that he / she works with regularly and what makes them special. Usually a planner is given discounts for their orders as they place them regularly and this should be passed on to you. Basically that means you can get a little more for your money!

Personality

It is essential that you find a planner that you get on well with – someone who complements your personality. So if you are quite highly strung you need someone who is efficient and can keep you calm and relaxed. Or if you are quite laid back then you need someone who can nudge you into making decisions and setting tasks for you to complete.

Above all your wedding planner should be honest, open and accountable.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Dear Bride & Groom,

You may have a very clear idea of what you would like your wedding cake to look and taste like. However, here are a few things to consider when choosing or designing your cake.

1.      Flavours and Fillings

Wedding Cakes are available in many more types and flavours than the traditional fruit or the simple vanilla sponge. In order to cater for all tastes many brides choose to have different cake types for different tiers. Not only does it keep everyone happy but also allows you to be a bit adventurous!  Why not enquire about a chocolate sponge with a maraschino cherry crème. Perhaps a carrot cake is more your taste? Or maybe you’d like to try your favourite cheesecake.  

2.      Presentation

There are more possibilities than you would think for presenting your cake. You have the traditional stacked or pillared cakes, the stand option or the increasingly popular multiple cupcakes.  The stacked cake sees each layer placed directly one on top of each other – you need to make sure your top layers aren’t too heavy to support. The pillar cakes create a grand, tall cake with each layer rested expertly on top of pillars of your choice.  

Kim’s advice: icing sugar softens in warm weather (25°C+++). Despite the grand tier effect, it is advisable not to stack all three layers on top of each other to avoid the possibility of the top layer accidentally sliding off!

You may also choose a decorative stand, which can present multiple layers at different heights or layers without sinking into each other! Individual cupcakes displayed on modern or ‘classic’ cake stands can be eye-catching. You could choose different icings or toppings for each layer or even present them in your own formation.

3.             Theme

Obviously your theme should be carried through into your cake. Whether this is a colour scheme, a particular flower or motif. Even if you would like simple and classic, white, royal icing you could use coloured ribbon, sugar flowers or fresh flowers to carry on your colour theme and add a wow factor. It is incredible what can be made with delicate sugar craft.

You can ask your cake designer to give you ideas or present your own to see if it can be made. The best thing is that you can keep this edible delight for years to come.  Have a look through cake magazines for adventurous ideas and put your own spin on it.

4.             One Cake or Two?

This may not be too big a problem if you are having an intimate wedding, but if you are cutting your cake during the evening ‘party’ then you might need to consider having a ‘cutting cake’ in the kitchen to meet the demand of the guests.  This is especially helpful if you wish to keep the top tier for your 1^st wedding anniversary or your first child’s Christening – in which case you should make absolutely sure the cake is freshly made so it is safe to be frozen again!

Oh! And don’t forget that the tastings are the best part!

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner