Writing Your Wedding VowsPosted by Kim Rix on January 26th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I think it is really wonderful that so many couples I meet wish to write, and read their own vows on their wedding day. It certainly adds something incredibly personal to the ceremony and really lets your friends, family and partner get a sense of everything you are thinking and feeling on this special day.

I also know that it can be a daunting task to undertake as I’ve been there myself! You may not feel you are an eloquent writer or that you don’t know how to put everything into words. Often I see one person striving ahead and writing two or three versions of the script leaving the other panicking! Here are my two top tips if you are having trouble writing your vows;

• Keep it simple and say what you mean.
• Less doesn’t mean more. Keep it short!

It often helps if you can add a structure to your vows. For example start with a little background;

When I met you… (I knew I could never look at anyone in the same way I look at you)

On our first date…(I wished I could always make you smile)

The first time we were apart… (I realised I couldn’t live without you)

Moving in together… (I knew that home was where you were)

Getting engaged… (I put my heart in your hands)

Then turn these pivotal moments into your vows;

I promise I will only have eyes for you.

I will always make it my mission to see you smiling.

I will always be there for you. Near or far. Even in the times you don’t want me there.

I promise that our home will always be our haven and I will keep you safe forever.

I will let you carry my heart with you always, as you let me carry yours. 

You can choose any moments in your life together which you feel are special. Those moments that you recall together and laugh about or cry about and map those defining moment in your relationship which make it so special. They can be silly or touching or maybe even forgotten. This also helps to keep it truly personal to you.

And don’t feel you have to write them alone! Ask your partner to work with you and enjoy the experience of doing this special task together. When they hear the vows again on the day it will be like the first time.

I know that saying them out loud on the day could be a nerve wracking experience for you – especially if you are not a fan of public speaking!

Do not be afraid to rehearse! By repeating these vows to yourself over and over you will find they seed themselves so deeply that you won’t feel you have to wrack your brain to remember them and that they will come naturally.

You don’t need to learn them off by heart, and nerves may get the better of you so it is perfectly acceptable to carry a little note with you to prompt you if you get flustered.

Practice with your bridesmaids or groomsmen and speak as confidently and clearly as you can. Accept that you might get teary, and accept that its ok to be emotional. Take a deep breath and you can get to the end.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Specialising in Luxury Weddings in London

Making Speeches at WeddingsPosted by Kim Rix on September 15th, 2009

Dear Bestmen and Father of the Bride,

Some of the most appealing, yet daunting aspects of a wedding are the speeches. Often the best friends of the Bridegroom are fighting over the position of ‘Best Man’; that is, until they realise that they have to prepare what’s traditionally seen as ‘the funniest’ of all the speeches of the day. Very often Fathers of the Bride are conflicted with both pride and nerves when standing and presenting their daughter to the room. Nerves are natural; but the act of making the speech doesn’t start at the wedding reception. No; in fact – it starts months and months in advance. It doesn’t seem like an easy task – but it can be with a little thought, preparation and practice.

Firstly, when Thinking about your speech; ensure that what you’re saying is relevant to the occasion. The more precise and honed your ideas are, the better the speech will flow. Do be sure to give it a lot of thought before you begin to structure your speech; for Fathers of the Bride – this means sentimentality, and possibly one or two little embarrassing numbers about both the Bride and the Bridegroom. For the Best Man, it’s a whole other story; be sure to make your speech appropriate for the expected audience. Do take into consideration the presence of small children and elderly people who may not take kindly to crude stories. Keep it smart, snappy and witty – this is your chance to toast your best friend and his new wife. A day that everyone will remember; so make sure it’s remembered for the right reasons!

Secondly, a little Preparation can help you structure the speech to suit the occasion. It’s more than likely been a very long and tiring day for everyone, just before your speeches – so try not to be too longwinded or heavy – upbeat and quirky is key. Be sure to edit, and rework your speech so you’re not telling too many similar stories, and that your overall message features from start to finish. For the Best Men, the preparatory element may include gathering stories from parents and such – do be sure to choose the best ones, as one can only successfully present a handful of stories in one sitting without their audience becoming restless.

Lastly, it’s important to Practice your speech. Whether it’s practiced on your partner, a small, select group of family members (after all, you don’t want to spoil it) or even just the dog! It’s a huge cliché, but practice really does make perfect. If you think, prepare and practice the speech in due time – then you won’t even need cue cards on the day; after all, there’s nothing more annoying than someone fiddling with a piece of paper whilst giving a speech.

Make sure you’re comfortable with all of the relevant content of the speech – cut out any words that trip you up, or unnecessary statements. Before you know it, you’ll be standing in front of a grand audience toasting your friends/family and giving a duly pleasing speech indeed.

I hope that helps.  Good luck!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner