Wedding Reception IdeasPosted by Kim Rix on June 30th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

You will find that most of your time will be taken up thinking about your wedding reception. Although the ceremony is obviously the most important part of your day, the reception takes up the longest and most sociable part of your day (and night!).

Your reception can be simple and elegant, extravagant, exciting or intimate and calm. It really depends on what you want from it. The reception is likely to reflect a lot of your personality as a couple and this is what your guests will buy into and enjoy. The main thing is that your guests are well entertained and have a great time with you.

The Setting

The first thing you want to think about is where you want to be for your wedding reception. If you would like grand elegance then you might want to have a look at some of the National Trust properties that interest you. A good number have large banqueting halls, equipped with the most magnificent art, fittings and decorations. Some may even provide staff and scene settings in keeping of the period of the venue. There are plenty of privately owned stately homes and gardens that cater for weddings.

If you are looking for something a little different then you could look into hiring a yacht, getting exclusive use of your favourite restaurant, bar or even nightclub.

If you have a particular interest eg. Art, music or theatre then you can look into getting exclusive use of a favourite gallery, theatre or venue. You would be surprised at how many would be interested and accommodating.

The Entertainment

This might be dictated by your wedding venue a little. For example, if you choose a theatre venue, then you could have a small interesting performance followed by live music. In a stately home you might want a string quartet or traditional music for the meal and then a 5 or 6 piece band for some late night dancing.

But what can you offer apart from music? How about a wandering magician? One or two can be available to demonstrate and wow your guests with impressive table magic – don’t worry no clowning or balloon creatures!!

Give your guests something to take home by asking a caricaturist to draw guests on each table at their request. It’s a great conversation starter!

If you have any gardens available then you could look at hiring a croquet set, jenga set or chess set for your guests to play with – you will be surprised at how keen your guests will be to get involved, and again its great for getting people talking!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Freeing up YOUR time and delivering the personal service

Wedding Etiquette: When Your Parents Are DivorcedPosted by Kim Rix on May 27th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I have been asked on a few occasions for advice surrounding what you should do if your parents are divorced and you are getting married. For some people this isn’t an issue at all but for others it can be really troubling.

The first thing to decide is if you want both of your parents (and their new partners if they have them) there at all. If you haven’t had much of a relationship with one of your parents since the divorce (especially if you were a child at the time) then you shouldn’t feel pressured into inviting them for the full day. If you want to invite them to the evening only, then that is what you should do.

I understand that these decisions can be difficult and you should take your time over them. Remember that this day is about your happiness and enjoyment and if you are going to be distracted or on edge then you should avoid it.

If you get on well with both of your parents and they are both coming to your wedding then there may be a few more things to consider. Will you be having a top table? And if so are both of your parents (and potentially new partners) going to be sitting there. You can always opt for a ‘sweetheart’ table for just the bride and groom if you think this may be difficult.

If your parents are not on the best of terms and you want to try and keep them occupied and apart at all times then I would usually suggest that you assign one of your friends (preferably not family) to keep an eye on them and intercept at any moments they feel may be appropriate. You can feel safe in knowing that someone is looking out and it takes the pressure off of you.

There are no real answers or correct things to do. You have to go with your instincts as much as possible and what will make your day the least stressful and the most fun that it can be.

I hope that helps.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Thoughts About Wedding StatisticsPosted by Kim Rix on April 6th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may have read recently about the latest wedding stats showing that marriages in England and Wales are at their lowest point since records began in 1862. I found this quite astonishing. I’m sure, like me, you always seem to know someone who is getting married – in fact I know a number of people who plan their holidays purely around their friend’s or family weddings each year! On the other hand I suppose I do know a large number of couples who co-habit and haven’t thought about, or just don’t want to get married. Thirty years ago this would have seemed unusual, but now it is becoming commonplace.

Although there have been peaks and troughs in the number of marriages since 1862 the drastic decline since 1985 is unprecedented. What was a rather jagged spiky zigzag has turned into a straight line heading south.

The other really interesting thing is at the same time the number of divorces is at its lowest in 29 years. So less people are getting married, but they are staying together. Thinking about it in this way is quite warming. When people decide they want to commit to each other and get married they are entering into it very seriously and they are making it work.

It is hard to know what to take from these statistics. Of course, I believe that marriage is a beautiful and important commitment to your partner. The couples that I see get married are happy and loving and they see it as a way to show the other person their true feelings. I also see more couples resisting the idea of marriage and I wonder if we need to rethink how we ‘sell’ it to people now. What is it that is putting people off of the idea and what would make them change their mind?

It will be interesting to see if any more research will be done into this topic.

And if you are reading this and wondering about whether you should get married…perhaps the question is, why not?

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Prenuptial Agreements Under UK LawPosted by Kim Rix on March 30th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

We often read about our ‘celebrity peers’ drafting pre-nuptial agreements before they get married. In fact a lot of wealthy people would probably draft up this agreement in the event they were marrying a ‘poorer’ partner to quash any ‘marrying for money’ rumours.

But what actually are the benefits of a pre-nup?

The first, and very important, thing to say is that a Pre-Nuptial (or pre-marital) Agreement is not enforceable under UK law. Surprised? The fact is that the American and media view of the pre-nup is not reflective of the fact. If your marriage does end in divorce there is no reason for the judge to rule to the terms laid out in your pre-nup. It is their job to do their best by everyone and as they see fit, so if they choose to disregard it completely, then they can.

Ok. So that is a big con. But what are the positives?

In short marriages, or those where there are no children then a pre-nup can be useful in settling assets. It outlines the original terms and conditions of marriage and may give the judge some insight to the characters of the couple he is dealing with. They are more likely to take this into consideration and only make minor recommendations and enforcements.

Where children are involved in a divorce it is very unlikely that a pre-nup will be considered. The needs of all parties have changed during their time together and the judge must act in the best interest of all.

Most solicitors in the UK would agree that they are not worth the paper they are written on and would generally advise against it as an unnecessary expense and hassle. Although 5% of British couples are thought to have one written they are more common amongst the wealthy or the celebrities.  The simple fact is they might not actually do you much good.

If you had been thinking about a pre-nuptial agreement and are now having second thoughts it would be worth speaking to your solicitor for their recommendation.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time”

British Weddings Vs American WeddingsPosted by Kim Rix on March 23rd, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

Britain and the USA have a great relationship. Both countries are heavily influenced by each other. As Brits we love the American confidence, glamour, sunshine and positivity. Americans love the British accent, the romance, history and tradition.

Much like in the UK the USA is seeing a decline in marriage rates. The couples that do get married are also marrying much older.

In the UK the average age of the first time bride is 29 and in the US it is 26. These have been slowly rising over the past few decades. For most men in the UK they would expect to be in their early thirties before getting married and in the US they wouldn’t be too far off at 28. Only a few decades ago your mother would have been giving you worried glances if you were unmarried in your late twenties, now you will be seen as a young bride or groom!

We are both equally extravagant in the amount we spend on our weddings too. The average bill in the USA comes to around $30k (just over £19k at the current exchange) and in the UK we spend a little more at around £22k ($33k). The Brits are also eager to marry with the average engagement being 18 months to America’s 19.

There are no huge differences in the wedding ceremonies and celebrations themselves. Many of our traditions have been amalgamated and mixed in with other cultures and country’s traditions. Indeed what is legal and expected in England is different to that in Scotland and so on. As long as the legal vows are said and the certificate is signed, all is well!

One thing I did enjoy at a recent American wedding was a rather extravagant ‘Groom’s Cake’. Although I didn’t much care for them stuffing it into each other’s mouths…can’t comment if that is necessarily traditional though!

Happy planning!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Brides, are you keeping your maiden name?Posted by Kim Rix on March 17th, 2010

Dear Bride,

Just when you think you’ve thought of everything, another question comes along! And this is quite a big one. Brides, are you keeping your maiden name or taking your married surname?

There is no legal obligation for the bride to take her husband’s surname upon marriage. It is a tradition that has been carried out for centuries and was for a long time seen as the norm. More women are making careful choices about whether they will take their husband’s name, whether to keep their own or even opting for the double-barreled surname. 

If you decide to take your husband’s surname then there are a number of things you will have to do in order to change your documents and formalize your identity.

The best advice I can give is to get several Marriage Certificates in order to send to all the parties who request them. Remembering this early will save you a lot of time and hassle. The Marriage Certificate legally entitles you to change your name and is all the evidence you need of this.

For most places you will be expected to send in a copy (or original) of your marriage certificate with an accompanying letter explaining your name change request. Some institutions may have a separate form for you to fill out – but this shouldn’t be too complicated.

I found this great list of places and people you should notify on Wedding Chaos at: http://www.weddingchaos.co.uk/changing-your-name.asp

·  Employer

·  Inland Revenue for tax and NI records (obtain your reference and tax office address from your employer)

·  Bank (mortgage and/or saving accounts)

·  Building Society (mortgage and/or saving accounts)

·  Credit card companies

·  Finance/loan companies

·  Local Authority (Council tax and register of electors)

·  Department of Work and Pensions (if you are entitled to any benefits)

·  Police (if you have any criminal actions against you or are on the Sex Offenders’ Registry)

·  HM Land Registry (if you own land or property)

·  Pension providers

·  Passport Office (apply for a name passport)

·  DVLA (apply for a new drivers license)

·  Motoring organisations (breakdown organisations)

·  Utility services (ie. Gas, electricity, water and sewerage providers)

·  Telephone provider

·  Internet provider

·  Mobile phone provider

·  Royal Mail

·  Insurance companies (buildings, life, motor, endowments, contents etc.)

·  Premium Bonds Office

·  Mail-order companies

·  Doctor

·  Dentist

·  Vets (if applicable)

·  TV license Office

·  School/college/university

·  Professional Institutes and bodies

·  Library

·  Clubs, societies and associations

·  Magazine subscriptions

·  If either or both of you have a will, this should be reviewed after you are married.

One very handy tip for you is that you can change your Passport in advance so that you can jet off on honeymoon with your new name! You can apply for the new passport up to 3 months before the wedding – but it won’t be valid until after the marriage. For more information on passports visit http://www.ips.gov.uk/cps/rde/xchg/ips_live/hs.xsl/index.htm

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

About The UK Wedding LicensePosted by Kim Rix on March 9th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

The most important thing you need to remember for your wedding day (apart from turning up of course) is the wedding license (marriage license). Without this document your marriage cannot go ahead or be seen as legal in the eyes of the law.

Obtaining a wedding license is not difficult. Although it may seem like there is a lot to it, it is actually very simple and easy to do.

Depending on where you live in the UK the formalities of obtaining your wedding license are slightly different. So although I am going to give you a basic outline please check http://www.direct.gov.uk for up to date information and links to your area.

In order to obtain a wedding license you must first give notice of your intention to wed. In England you must give notice in the registry office of the district that you live in – and you must have been living there for at least 7 days. If you live in a different area to your partner then you will still give notice to the registry that is local to you, even if you are not getting married there. (In Scotland you give notice in the district where you will be married and you do not need to be a resident)

The minimum notice period is 15 days before your wedding and the notice itself is valid for one year from submission. To complete the notice you will be required to provide your name, age (bring a birth certificate if you can), address, nationality, occupation, current marital status and the venue for your marriage. It is advisable to take any supporting documentation that you can to prove you are who you say you are!

Registering a marriage in the Church of England or Wales operates slightly differently again so it is always best to speak to your local registrar or officiant, or conduct research online before making any assumptions!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

The role of a Wedding PlannerPosted by Kim Rix on February 18th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may have been reading this blog for a little while, or perhaps this is your first visit but you may have noticed that I offer up a lot of advice to you here. I imagined that you were perhaps starting to wonder what you could use me for if I’m giving you all my tips! Well here are a few things to demonstrate exactly what a wedding planner does for you.

Where has the time gone?

Whether you have 2 years or 2 months to plan your wedding, you never have enough time. If one or both of you are working it is even harder to find the time to call venues, suppliers etc to organize meetings, check details etc – especially when most of them are working the same hours as you are!

As a wedding planner I have the time to get information, check details, call, meet, negotiate and secure all the services you need. Believe me, it’s a lot of work and you don’t want to feel like you are making decisions in a rush!

Delegate Delegate Delegate

If you are planning a wedding on your own it is most likely that you will delegate some tasks out to friends and family to help you. But when and how do you check up on them? And what if they haven’t completed what they asked you to? Or it’s not the way you would like it to be?

If I were helping you to plan your wedding you would know every detail would be catered for and every request met, at a timetable to suit you!

Idea Generator

It can be difficult to think or be imaginative about what you want your wedding to be like when you are under pressure to get dates set, write guest lists etc. Maybe you have an idea but you have no idea how to make it a reality.

I would be at your side to translate your ideas into reality. You tell me what you are looking for, I research some ideas for you and all you have to do is choose! I can pick up on all the little details that will make it extra special for you. And you can focus on that invite list!

Contracts and Negotiation

As I have a good reputation with many suppliers, contractors and venues I can secure you great rates, excellent service and the best in the business. Negotiating can be nerve wracking and time consuming. I can take that swiftly off of your hands!

The Day

The Big Day, is your day. You should be able to enjoy it. If you are stressing about timetables, deliveries, schedules etc you will not be concentrating on enjoying yourself!

As your wedding planner I will be there to ensure that everything runs perfectly smoothly. I am your go to person, so if you have a question or request you just need to whisper in my ear and its done!

And the beauty of it is your guests won’t have a clue – they’ll just be having a wonderful time!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the Personal Service

The Art of Negotiating ContractsPosted by Kim Rix on February 10th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I know that some of you will have read the title and panicked already! I find that, generally speaking, a lot of people are afraid of negotiation. There is a fear that you won’t get what you want or you will be overpowered by the other party’s persuasiveness or slick style.

First of all…Everyone can negotiate! It’s all about knowing what you want, what you are willing to back down on and how to arm yourself for success! Think about it. You negotiate with your partner all the time. It might be about the destination of your holiday, the date of your wedding or which restaurant you want to go to that weekend.

Think about these simple things when you are negotiating a contract and you will be cool, confident and come out with what you want.

Prepare!

- Make a list of exactly what you want from the supplier or service provider. (As much detail as possible if you can!)

- Make a list of a few things that you would be happy to compromise on if it came to it. Eg. A change in delivery time, one less vegetarian option, eustoma instead of sweet peas.

- Set a limit to how much you are willing to spend.

- Shop around and get a few separate quotes and recommendations.

- Shortlist your favourite suppliers and arrange meetings.

Discuss

- Take your notes with you to the meeting.

- Take plenty of notes about what they tell you and discuss any comparisons with other companies / suppliers with them. They will work hard to secure your business – especially if it’s over a small price difference!

- Don’t be taken in by any incentives to ‘sign that day’. Make it clear to them that you are speaking to a number of people and that you will make a decision when you have spoken to everyone you wish to.

- Do not compromise on anything that is on your ‘must have’ list. If they can’t or won’t provide this, walk away. Or if they say they can but there is conditions attached, be clear that you would rather go with a company that can assure you of delivery.

- Listen. Remember they are the experts. They may be able to offer you insightful input to make things easier for you.

Sign

-  Contact your favourite supplier and have them draw up a quote or contract stipulating all of your preferences and the terms you have agreed upon.

And that’s it, you’ve negotiated your contracts without fuss or pain!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Civil Ceremonies in England and WalesPosted by Kim Rix on February 3rd, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

Civil ceremonies are one of the most popular wedding ceremonies which can be held either in a registry office or an ‘approved place’  (usually a hotel or other selected venue) of your choice.

It is important to note that if you choose to by wed by a registrar that they are not permitted, by law, to include any religious aspects into the ceremony. If including any kind of religious aspect is important to you (even a prayer) then I would strongly advise you to look further into a religious ceremony at your chosen place of worship.

Civil ceremonies are often short and sweet. The whole thing from start to finish usually lasts no more than around 20 minutes. Of course this can be extended by adding elements to your ceremony to personalise the day. I would always recommend that you select one or two songs or pieces of music which have significance to you both to be played at certain points of the ceremony and I also think that a number of readings by friends or family is a lovely touch. I must mention again that these selections must not be religious and if you have any doubt you should speak to your registrar.

There are a number of legalities that you have to go through in order to ensure that the marriage can be carried out legally. The points that follow are specific to England and Wales. If you are getting married in Scotland or Northern Ireland then the process is slightly different so please be careful to check with the local authority.

In England and Wales it is necessary to give notice in advance about the civil marriage or partnership. You need to have lived in the area where you intend to give notice for a minimum of seven days to satisfy residency requirements. You and your partner must give notice, in person, to your local registry office (even if they are different). It is also advised that if you are getting married in a different area that you contact the local office there at the same time to make sure that someone will be available.

In order to give notice you need to provide some simple information;

• Full name 
• Age – the minimum legal age in England and Wales is 16 years of age
• Address
• Nationality
• Current status – for example single, divorced
• Occupation

• Intended venue for your marriage or civil partnership

You may be required to prove your ID, status or nationality so double check you have a current passport, birth certificate and any documents relating to previous partnerships to hand.

The notice will then be publicly displayed for fifteen days after which authority is granted and the notice remains valid for a year, as long as the venue remains the same. 

If you are not getting married in the registry office then you will be required to pick up a Certificate of Authority to be given to the officiant conducting the ceremony in order for it to go ahead. Your registrar will contact you to arrange a time to pick this up.

The only other legal requirement is that during a civil ceremony or partnership a statutory ‘Declaratory’ and ‘Contracting’ statement must be read by the bride and groom to make the marriage lawful.

These statements are;

Declaratory Statement

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, (your full name),

 may not be joined in matrimony to (your partner’s full name).

Contracting Statement

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, (your full name),

 do take thee, (your partner’s full name),

to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband).

There are also more ‘modern’ versions that your registrar can advise you on when you meet.

For more information on the legality and process of civil or religious marriages please visit http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Yourrightsandresponsibilities/DG_10026937

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the personal service