The Importance of the Wedding Checklist and TimelinePosted by Kim Rix on March 3rd, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

So, how soon is it until your big day? Years? Months? DAYS!?

Do you know everything that you have to get done before then? And when it has to be done by?

Even if you feel like you are in control and on top of everything, I can promise you that the closer you get to your wedding, the more likely you are to drop the ball and miss something. There is a lot to consider, a lot to book and a lot to check.

I had an awful call one time from a bride who had suddenly realised they had forgotten to submit the Marriage Notice Forms to the registrar in time and were now in danger of not being able to be married at all! You would be surprised how often this does happen. 

This is why I cannot stress to you enough the important of creating (and sticking to!) a checklist and timeline for all aspects of your wedding. You can create this as far in advance as possible and just amend as you go. It also means if you have friends and family helping, they can have copies and make sure they are fulfilling their tasks in time, and support you in anything that you need. And that might just be a gentle reminder about setting an appointment or paying a second instalment etc.

How you create, or where you create your checklist is up to you! You might want to make an excel spreadsheet, perhaps you are happy logging tasks into your computer calendar or maybe it’s a paper diary, but you need something!

When you are putting in your tasks you want to work backwards from your wedding date (and even give yourself an extra week in there for breathing room). There are plenty of resources, calendars and advice available in books or online that can prompt you for things you might want to add. And don’t forget that friends or parents that have been through this have plenty of advice to give you – and you should listen to it too!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the personal service

Matchmaking The Bride To The VendorsPosted by Kim Rix on February 24th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

Have you ever had that experience when you are engaging someone to carry out some work for you – whether its fitting a bathroom, servicing your car or excavating your garden – that you have a ‘feeling’ you are not going to get on with them?

That is not you being picky. That’s just your common sense kicking in highlighting that in some way your personalities clash. It could be something small and it may not affect the job at all, but you hesitate nonetheless. I’m not necessarily talking about trust here, but about the way you can communicate.

When you are engaging someone to provide a product or service for your wedding I think it’s important that your personalities match. Why? Because you are probably going to have to speak to them a lot – and during some times when you are fairly stressed out!

I would always advise my brides (or grooms) to ‘interview’ at least 3 different vendors before making a decision. A simple conversation can be enough and usually your gut instinct will tell you who you should work with.

Let me give you an example.

I was working with a fairly successful, strong-willed and organized bride about 6 months ago. We were visiting a number of florists that day and I had picked 2 for the morning that I thought she might like.

The first florist was a local vendor, fairly new to the area having just branched out on her own, but very experienced in wedding flowers. She talked through all the ideas with the bride, explained different options and showed examples. She then talked through how she would sketch out designs and send email them to her for approval so they could discuss changes without having to see each other face to face. Everything was very detailed, clear and the florist seemed totally in control.

The second florist, also a local vendor, but more established with a number of awards under her belt was much more informal. She asked about colours and flower types, took an address and said she’d be happy to send on a quote. She offered a few books to look at and point out anything that the bride liked. The whole encounter was very informal, chatty and pleasant.

Can you guess which florist my bride chose? Of course, the first! Although she thought the second florist seemed great she realized that her laid back personality would just send her into a panic. She felt the first had a reassuring business-like quality that she could relate to.

Don’t worry about judging people. They completely understand! And remember its just as hard for them to do their job if your personalities are clashing!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Luxury Weddings in London, South East and the UK

The role of a Wedding PlannerPosted by Kim Rix on February 18th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may have been reading this blog for a little while, or perhaps this is your first visit but you may have noticed that I offer up a lot of advice to you here. I imagined that you were perhaps starting to wonder what you could use me for if I’m giving you all my tips! Well here are a few things to demonstrate exactly what a wedding planner does for you.

Where has the time gone?

Whether you have 2 years or 2 months to plan your wedding, you never have enough time. If one or both of you are working it is even harder to find the time to call venues, suppliers etc to organize meetings, check details etc – especially when most of them are working the same hours as you are!

As a wedding planner I have the time to get information, check details, call, meet, negotiate and secure all the services you need. Believe me, it’s a lot of work and you don’t want to feel like you are making decisions in a rush!

Delegate Delegate Delegate

If you are planning a wedding on your own it is most likely that you will delegate some tasks out to friends and family to help you. But when and how do you check up on them? And what if they haven’t completed what they asked you to? Or it’s not the way you would like it to be?

If I were helping you to plan your wedding you would know every detail would be catered for and every request met, at a timetable to suit you!

Idea Generator

It can be difficult to think or be imaginative about what you want your wedding to be like when you are under pressure to get dates set, write guest lists etc. Maybe you have an idea but you have no idea how to make it a reality.

I would be at your side to translate your ideas into reality. You tell me what you are looking for, I research some ideas for you and all you have to do is choose! I can pick up on all the little details that will make it extra special for you. And you can focus on that invite list!

Contracts and Negotiation

As I have a good reputation with many suppliers, contractors and venues I can secure you great rates, excellent service and the best in the business. Negotiating can be nerve wracking and time consuming. I can take that swiftly off of your hands!

The Day

The Big Day, is your day. You should be able to enjoy it. If you are stressing about timetables, deliveries, schedules etc you will not be concentrating on enjoying yourself!

As your wedding planner I will be there to ensure that everything runs perfectly smoothly. I am your go to person, so if you have a question or request you just need to whisper in my ear and its done!

And the beauty of it is your guests won’t have a clue – they’ll just be having a wonderful time!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the Personal Service

The Art of Negotiating ContractsPosted by Kim Rix on February 10th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I know that some of you will have read the title and panicked already! I find that, generally speaking, a lot of people are afraid of negotiation. There is a fear that you won’t get what you want or you will be overpowered by the other party’s persuasiveness or slick style.

First of all…Everyone can negotiate! It’s all about knowing what you want, what you are willing to back down on and how to arm yourself for success! Think about it. You negotiate with your partner all the time. It might be about the destination of your holiday, the date of your wedding or which restaurant you want to go to that weekend.

Think about these simple things when you are negotiating a contract and you will be cool, confident and come out with what you want.

Prepare!

- Make a list of exactly what you want from the supplier or service provider. (As much detail as possible if you can!)

- Make a list of a few things that you would be happy to compromise on if it came to it. Eg. A change in delivery time, one less vegetarian option, eustoma instead of sweet peas.

- Set a limit to how much you are willing to spend.

- Shop around and get a few separate quotes and recommendations.

- Shortlist your favourite suppliers and arrange meetings.

Discuss

- Take your notes with you to the meeting.

- Take plenty of notes about what they tell you and discuss any comparisons with other companies / suppliers with them. They will work hard to secure your business – especially if it’s over a small price difference!

- Don’t be taken in by any incentives to ‘sign that day’. Make it clear to them that you are speaking to a number of people and that you will make a decision when you have spoken to everyone you wish to.

- Do not compromise on anything that is on your ‘must have’ list. If they can’t or won’t provide this, walk away. Or if they say they can but there is conditions attached, be clear that you would rather go with a company that can assure you of delivery.

- Listen. Remember they are the experts. They may be able to offer you insightful input to make things easier for you.

Sign

-  Contact your favourite supplier and have them draw up a quote or contract stipulating all of your preferences and the terms you have agreed upon.

And that’s it, you’ve negotiated your contracts without fuss or pain!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Wedding Celebrations – It’s Not All Over!Posted by Kim Rix on January 5th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I hear a lot of couples (and their parents) talking about the wedding being only one day. That in 24 hours it has been and gone and then you just seamlessly roll on into married life.

I would like to dispel this myth! I have rarely (actually, probably never) been to or planned a wedding where there hasn’t been some social occasion directly related to it before or after the ‘ big day’ itself. It is an important time and it isn’t very often that you get to celebrate with friends and family in such a way so I would always encourage you to make the most of it. Here are a few of my suggestions.

Engagement Party

Starting right at the very beginning! It is becoming customary to have a party to officially announce your engagement. Naturally people want to celebrate the good news with you so why not make it easier. You could have an intimate dinner in the private dining room of your favourite restaurant, or a simple champagne and canapé reception in a nearby hotel or classy bar. If you want to keep things very low key you can have drinks and nibbles at your house (or your parent’s house for the more traditional couples).

Stag and Hen Parties

Wherever you are in the world it seems traditional to have a final separate ‘send off’ for the bride and groom. Organised predominantly by the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honour the Stag or Hen celebration is a great warm up to your big day. All of your friends get to meet together – some for the first time – and throw caution to the wind.

If your idea of a good time is not dressing up in matching printed t-shirts and horns then that is absolutely ok! For the gents why not think about a day of paintballing or racetrack driving followed by a great hearty meal and drinks. Perhaps the ladies might like a pampering and photography session or a cocktail and chocolate making class followed by drinks and dancing.

You can always make a weekend out of it – I would always recommend a city break to your favourite European capital. You are almost certainly guaranteed good food and wine!

Mehndi Parties

Traditionally, Indian brides would get together with all of her female friends and family the night before the wedding and have a Mehndi Party. During this evening the bride would have beautifully, intricate henna tattoos painted on her hands and feet to be especially beautiful for her wedding.

Many UK brides are becoming more interested in Mehndi parties for their traditional wedding celebrations – sometimes playing a part in their hen party. Remember if you don’t want to have the tattoo on the day of your wedding then you should plan the party at least 6 weeks in advance to make sure it has worn off in time.

Rehearsal Dinner

I think that a rehearsal dinner is a very important part of your wedding planning and celebrations. It gives your bridal party an opportunity to settle into their roles and your family and friends an opportunity to get to know each other a little before the celebrations. Ideally it should be the evening before the wedding and not go on too late so you can be refreshed in the morning.

It should definitely have a relaxed atmosphere and a little of the couple’s personality shining through! Again, your favourite restaurant (or even your parent’s back garden) is a great way to get everyone together and talking.

And if you can’t manage the day before, why not consider a brunch the day after your wedding to thank your guests again for coming and let them look fondly on the previous days events.

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Luxury Weddings in London & Home Counties

What is Marriage?Posted by Kim Rix on December 22nd, 2009

Dear Bride & Groom,

Yesterday, I cooked my husband dinner, made with extra special TLC. Why? Because four years ago yesterday, my husband proposed to me. I appreciate that it’s not an official wedding anniversary, but it’s an occasion that I felt was worth honouring and making an extra effort for.

Marriage is so much more than just a piece of paper. Of course that ‘piece of paper’ also has a lot of weight and meaning but I wanted to spend a little time writing about the reasons I think marriage is so special, and worth pushing the boat out for.

I’m not going to look into any of the cultural or religious reasons that couples may have for marrying each other – I think that if it is important to you then this is already clear. I suppose I am looking at the increasingly apparent model of the modern couple. Many of these aren’t religious, have been together (lived together) for many years, may have children and might even come from broken homes. There are couples I know personally who don’t see the point of getting married because, “we live like we’re married anyway.” But I think they are missing out on something special.

The first thing to acknowledge is that marriage gives a couple completely different legal rights than if they were just co-habiting, have a child or believe they have a ‘common law marriage’.  Married couples also have completely different access, rights and obligations to do with tax, pensions, inheritance and parental responsibility. It may also affect the purchase of a home, your access to medical care or even choices to do with immigration. It should be noted that the laws in Scotland differ slightly and you should seek advice if you are not sure about your rights, roles and responsibilities.

When a couple first comes to me I can see how excited they are! And why not? They have agreed to make the most important commitment to one another that you can make. To be there for each other, to love each other forever. There is nothing like being with two people who know they want to commit their lives to being together. The happiness is positively infectious!

Marriage is also the beginning of a whole set of new firsts! The first kiss, the first dance, the first anniversary, and Christmas, and holiday. You get a whole new start as a married couple. There may be only small changes for you, there may be some big ones, but you will notice the difference in how you approach things because you are a unified team sharing these experiences together.

Marriage also brings a great feeling of stability to the relationship. It has been shown that couples experiencing problems are more likely to work harder to get through them if they are married than if they are not. It has a tremendous psychological connection to your feelings of security and is often the first step towards thinking of yourselves as a family.

Personally, I love being married.  There is no larger declaration of love than marriage, and it should be honoured with small gestures whenever possible – that’s Marriage!

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

How The Wedding Planning Industry Has Changed Over The Past Five YearsPosted by Kim Rix on December 15th, 2009

Dear wedding professionals,

I thought it would be important to look at how much the wedding industry has been changing over the past number of years. Traditions and expectations change and I think it’s important to acknowledge both the good points and the bad and choose your direction.

I asked a number of fellow wedding professionals how they thought the industry had changed. A common remark was on how quickly couples were getting married after their engagement.

“It used to be that weddings were booked 2 years ahead (as the best venues were always the first to go) however now, they’re booking and getting married within the year” – Caroline Ghorbanian, SAS Party Decorations

I’ve noticed this too. I think, that mostly this is because couples have the ability to pay for the wedding quicker so they don’t need the lead-in time of previous years and generations. There are several reasons for this;

-         couples are older than in previous generations and either have savings or a greater ability to save

-         there is wider access to credit, and loans are more socially acceptable

-         couples are more savvy and vocal about finding and securing discounts and deals

-         couples and families are contributing more to the wedding in terms of their skills and contacts so there is less need for upfront cash

-         Intimate and small getaway weddings are increasing in popularity (especially for couples on their 2^nd marriage)

This points out to us that there are couples still spending a lot of money on their big day but funding it through different means than the wallet of the bride’s father but also that a lot of couples have become budget conscious and careful.

Kristie Lorette, Weddings Diva, seems to agree with this as she says:

 “I’ve watched brides create weddings of their dreams by simply inviting close family and friends… Rather than throwing an over-the-top lavish affair that costs a fortune…They’re not sacrificing the wedding of their dreams, but simply approaching it in a more realistic manner.”

Indeed with a growing number of couples paying for majority, if not all, of their wedding it seems logical that they would pay more attention to where that money is going than if it was being gifted to them.

I think that it is very important for you to have the wedding that you want, within budget. I have stressed before the importance of making a realistic budget and sticking to it. Although the trend to get married within a year is growing, I would still advocate a 2 year engagement if it means that you can have the wedding you dream of, with all the details you’d love and the time to be sure you can pay for it all without spending you first year of married life with debt over your heads.

Of course, if you receive sound financial advice, you are certain a loan will be easy for you to manage and you’d like to bring your wedding forward then I would be pleased to help you bring it all together. Remember: the best venues, florists and bands do book quickly – especially during the summer months – and if you don’t have dedicated time to chase these up then a wedding planner could be your greatest, secret (or not so secret) weapon!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Luxury Weddings & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, phone 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

How to Budget Your WeddingPosted by Kim Rix on December 8th, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

I cannot over emphasise the importance of budgeting.  Your whole wedding has to stem from this point. What is the total (the absolute maximum) that you are willing and able to spend on your wedding? Once you know this, for certain, write it down and make a promise to stick to it!

It is very easy to get carried away. It’s only an extra hundred for this and only another 10 of those, but you can quickly become carried away. You need to set out your budget right at the beginning and keep revisiting it to make sure you are on track.

I have created a really easy to use Interactive Budget Manager for my couples. Together we take the total budget for the wedding and allocate it to different ‘sections’ as a percentage. By thinking of different elements of your wedding in ‘sections’ or ‘chunks’ you will find this a much easier task. An example of a section could be; Attire, Entertainment or Reception. You can allocate more or less money to each section based on the percentage you allocate it, and tweak it to suit.

As I mentioned you also need to track what you actually spend. Your budget will be based on assumptions until you get solid quotes through, so you need to make sure that if things are costing a little more than anticipated, you spot it immediately in your budget and tweak other areas to make sure you come out even. And don’t forget that deposits count too! Even though you could be laying a deposit 2 – 3 years in advance make sure you include it in the total so you know realistically what you have spent.

The wonderful thing about working with a wedding planner is that they will spend the time to get you the best deal from the best suppliers. I would always advise speaking to a minimum of 3 suppliers for each element of your wedding. This way you can gauge the standard of their work, reliability and cost and take it all into consideration before making a decision. Savvy shopping will ensure you get the best from your budget!

I know of many couples that have taken out a loan or even re-mortgaged their home to pay for the wedding they desire. I would suggest that these are rather drastic measures that should only be taken if you are absolutely sure you can enjoy life fully after the wedding is over!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Wedding & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, contact Kim Rix on 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

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Keeping Children Occupied At WeddingsPosted by Kim Rix on December 1st, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may not have even discussed whether you are happy to have children coming to your wedding, or not, yet. If you have chosen to have a young flower girl (or bridesmaid) and a pageboy then you have made this decision without a second thought.

Some parents like to leave the kids at home when they go to a wedding. They may see it as an opportunity to catch up with friends or family they haven’t seen in years, and let their hair down a little. On the other side, it’s a great chance to show off the family and they can certainly add to the atmosphere of the wedding – and lets not forget the adorable photo moments they create.

It is a long day for children, and even the best-behaved will eventually get a little restless. Here are a few ideas for entertaining and occupying them on your big day.

Garden Games

If you are having your reception in a venue, which has an outside area, garden, or grounds then you might want to consider hiring a few garden games. Giant Connect 4 or Jenga are instant winners. Easy to set up, easy to manage and the adults get a kick out of it too!

Craft Table

Ask your venue to set up a small table for you in a corner of the reception. Provide some colouring books, crayons and ‘dry’ art materials so they can colour, make and play. You might consider some ‘wedding’ themed crafts like decorating a lucky horseshoe or designing a wedding dress. There are plenty of ready-made sets out there so you don’t have to make activities up yourself!

Candid Camera

If they are old enough (5 or 6 years +) then you could consider buying a couple of disposable cameras to allow them to take a few pictures themselves. You could set them a checklist of images to shoot or things they have to find. They will feel really important and you will get lovely pictures from their view of the wedding.

Special Treats

Young people have great fun pretending to be adults. They will see your guests sipping on champagne, eating canapés and nibbling on decadent treats. Ask your venue or caterer to create some children friendly treats and cocktails. Ask them to make sure they are healthy and low in sugar (so they don’t get too hyper) and lay them out specially.

I would also recommend designating a child friendly person to watch over your younger guests and make sure they are having a good time – and not getting into any trouble. Knowing you have someone watching over them while make you feel much more comfortable.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Wedding Debt AdvicePosted by Kim Rix on November 24th, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

I’m sure you are already planning what your life will be like once you are married. The house you will live in, the holidays you will go on together, the first Christmas card you send as Mr and Mrs. What you might not have thought about is the upwards of ten thousand pounds in debt which couples expect to be in to have their dream wedding.

I was horrified to read that in 2008 a study showed that most women in Britain expected to take on between 8 and 10 thousand pounds worth of debt to have their dream wedding – perhaps inspired by their favourite celebrity wedding.  Some women will go as far as re-mortgaging their home to be able to afford designer dress or five star honeymoon. That’s crazy!

You have to ask yourselves whether, during your first few years of married life, you would rather be spending your hard earned money paying off your wedding debt or enjoying furnishing your marital home or taking nice holidays together.

Your wedding can be beautiful and still be in budget! You need to take a careful look at your finances and set your budget accordingly. Give yourselves time to save and use a budget planner to keep track of your anticipated and actual spending.

Of course if you have savings and help from family then some of the pressure will be take off of you. But just because you have the money doesn’t mean you have to spend it all either!

You can take out a loan or buy extras on your credit card but only if you absolutely know that you can make the minimum payments until it’s cleared. You really need to weigh up whether you will be compromising your quality of life for years, for small aspects of one, albeit very important, day.

Engaging the services of a wedding planner can assist you in keeping within budget and avoiding the clutches of debt. First of all together we set a realistic budget and make a pact to stick to it. Working together we can find all the things you require at a great price – I’ll do all the shopping around and negotiate to get you the best deal possible.

Your wedding will be the most special day of your life, regardless of how much money you have. Remember it is only the beginning of your time together.

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner