The Importance of the Wedding Checklist and TimelinePosted by Kim Rix on March 3rd, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

So, how soon is it until your big day? Years? Months? DAYS!?

Do you know everything that you have to get done before then? And when it has to be done by?

Even if you feel like you are in control and on top of everything, I can promise you that the closer you get to your wedding, the more likely you are to drop the ball and miss something. There is a lot to consider, a lot to book and a lot to check.

I had an awful call one time from a bride who had suddenly realised they had forgotten to submit the Marriage Notice Forms to the registrar in time and were now in danger of not being able to be married at all! You would be surprised how often this does happen. 

This is why I cannot stress to you enough the important of creating (and sticking to!) a checklist and timeline for all aspects of your wedding. You can create this as far in advance as possible and just amend as you go. It also means if you have friends and family helping, they can have copies and make sure they are fulfilling their tasks in time, and support you in anything that you need. And that might just be a gentle reminder about setting an appointment or paying a second instalment etc.

How you create, or where you create your checklist is up to you! You might want to make an excel spreadsheet, perhaps you are happy logging tasks into your computer calendar or maybe it’s a paper diary, but you need something!

When you are putting in your tasks you want to work backwards from your wedding date (and even give yourself an extra week in there for breathing room). There are plenty of resources, calendars and advice available in books or online that can prompt you for things you might want to add. And don’t forget that friends or parents that have been through this have plenty of advice to give you – and you should listen to it too!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the personal service

Matchmaking The Bride To The VendorsPosted by Kim Rix on February 24th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

Have you ever had that experience when you are engaging someone to carry out some work for you – whether its fitting a bathroom, servicing your car or excavating your garden – that you have a ‘feeling’ you are not going to get on with them?

That is not you being picky. That’s just your common sense kicking in highlighting that in some way your personalities clash. It could be something small and it may not affect the job at all, but you hesitate nonetheless. I’m not necessarily talking about trust here, but about the way you can communicate.

When you are engaging someone to provide a product or service for your wedding I think it’s important that your personalities match. Why? Because you are probably going to have to speak to them a lot – and during some times when you are fairly stressed out!

I would always advise my brides (or grooms) to ‘interview’ at least 3 different vendors before making a decision. A simple conversation can be enough and usually your gut instinct will tell you who you should work with.

Let me give you an example.

I was working with a fairly successful, strong-willed and organized bride about 6 months ago. We were visiting a number of florists that day and I had picked 2 for the morning that I thought she might like.

The first florist was a local vendor, fairly new to the area having just branched out on her own, but very experienced in wedding flowers. She talked through all the ideas with the bride, explained different options and showed examples. She then talked through how she would sketch out designs and send email them to her for approval so they could discuss changes without having to see each other face to face. Everything was very detailed, clear and the florist seemed totally in control.

The second florist, also a local vendor, but more established with a number of awards under her belt was much more informal. She asked about colours and flower types, took an address and said she’d be happy to send on a quote. She offered a few books to look at and point out anything that the bride liked. The whole encounter was very informal, chatty and pleasant.

Can you guess which florist my bride chose? Of course, the first! Although she thought the second florist seemed great she realized that her laid back personality would just send her into a panic. She felt the first had a reassuring business-like quality that she could relate to.

Don’t worry about judging people. They completely understand! And remember its just as hard for them to do their job if your personalities are clashing!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Luxury Weddings in London, South East and the UK

The role of a Wedding PlannerPosted by Kim Rix on February 18th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may have been reading this blog for a little while, or perhaps this is your first visit but you may have noticed that I offer up a lot of advice to you here. I imagined that you were perhaps starting to wonder what you could use me for if I’m giving you all my tips! Well here are a few things to demonstrate exactly what a wedding planner does for you.

Where has the time gone?

Whether you have 2 years or 2 months to plan your wedding, you never have enough time. If one or both of you are working it is even harder to find the time to call venues, suppliers etc to organize meetings, check details etc – especially when most of them are working the same hours as you are!

As a wedding planner I have the time to get information, check details, call, meet, negotiate and secure all the services you need. Believe me, it’s a lot of work and you don’t want to feel like you are making decisions in a rush!

Delegate Delegate Delegate

If you are planning a wedding on your own it is most likely that you will delegate some tasks out to friends and family to help you. But when and how do you check up on them? And what if they haven’t completed what they asked you to? Or it’s not the way you would like it to be?

If I were helping you to plan your wedding you would know every detail would be catered for and every request met, at a timetable to suit you!

Idea Generator

It can be difficult to think or be imaginative about what you want your wedding to be like when you are under pressure to get dates set, write guest lists etc. Maybe you have an idea but you have no idea how to make it a reality.

I would be at your side to translate your ideas into reality. You tell me what you are looking for, I research some ideas for you and all you have to do is choose! I can pick up on all the little details that will make it extra special for you. And you can focus on that invite list!

Contracts and Negotiation

As I have a good reputation with many suppliers, contractors and venues I can secure you great rates, excellent service and the best in the business. Negotiating can be nerve wracking and time consuming. I can take that swiftly off of your hands!

The Day

The Big Day, is your day. You should be able to enjoy it. If you are stressing about timetables, deliveries, schedules etc you will not be concentrating on enjoying yourself!

As your wedding planner I will be there to ensure that everything runs perfectly smoothly. I am your go to person, so if you have a question or request you just need to whisper in my ear and its done!

And the beauty of it is your guests won’t have a clue – they’ll just be having a wonderful time!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the Personal Service

The Art of Negotiating ContractsPosted by Kim Rix on February 10th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I know that some of you will have read the title and panicked already! I find that, generally speaking, a lot of people are afraid of negotiation. There is a fear that you won’t get what you want or you will be overpowered by the other party’s persuasiveness or slick style.

First of all…Everyone can negotiate! It’s all about knowing what you want, what you are willing to back down on and how to arm yourself for success! Think about it. You negotiate with your partner all the time. It might be about the destination of your holiday, the date of your wedding or which restaurant you want to go to that weekend.

Think about these simple things when you are negotiating a contract and you will be cool, confident and come out with what you want.

Prepare!

- Make a list of exactly what you want from the supplier or service provider. (As much detail as possible if you can!)

- Make a list of a few things that you would be happy to compromise on if it came to it. Eg. A change in delivery time, one less vegetarian option, eustoma instead of sweet peas.

- Set a limit to how much you are willing to spend.

- Shop around and get a few separate quotes and recommendations.

- Shortlist your favourite suppliers and arrange meetings.

Discuss

- Take your notes with you to the meeting.

- Take plenty of notes about what they tell you and discuss any comparisons with other companies / suppliers with them. They will work hard to secure your business – especially if it’s over a small price difference!

- Don’t be taken in by any incentives to ‘sign that day’. Make it clear to them that you are speaking to a number of people and that you will make a decision when you have spoken to everyone you wish to.

- Do not compromise on anything that is on your ‘must have’ list. If they can’t or won’t provide this, walk away. Or if they say they can but there is conditions attached, be clear that you would rather go with a company that can assure you of delivery.

- Listen. Remember they are the experts. They may be able to offer you insightful input to make things easier for you.

Sign

-  Contact your favourite supplier and have them draw up a quote or contract stipulating all of your preferences and the terms you have agreed upon.

And that’s it, you’ve negotiated your contracts without fuss or pain!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Civil Ceremonies in England and WalesPosted by Kim Rix on February 3rd, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

Civil ceremonies are one of the most popular wedding ceremonies which can be held either in a registry office or an ‘approved place’  (usually a hotel or other selected venue) of your choice.

It is important to note that if you choose to by wed by a registrar that they are not permitted, by law, to include any religious aspects into the ceremony. If including any kind of religious aspect is important to you (even a prayer) then I would strongly advise you to look further into a religious ceremony at your chosen place of worship.

Civil ceremonies are often short and sweet. The whole thing from start to finish usually lasts no more than around 20 minutes. Of course this can be extended by adding elements to your ceremony to personalise the day. I would always recommend that you select one or two songs or pieces of music which have significance to you both to be played at certain points of the ceremony and I also think that a number of readings by friends or family is a lovely touch. I must mention again that these selections must not be religious and if you have any doubt you should speak to your registrar.

There are a number of legalities that you have to go through in order to ensure that the marriage can be carried out legally. The points that follow are specific to England and Wales. If you are getting married in Scotland or Northern Ireland then the process is slightly different so please be careful to check with the local authority.

In England and Wales it is necessary to give notice in advance about the civil marriage or partnership. You need to have lived in the area where you intend to give notice for a minimum of seven days to satisfy residency requirements. You and your partner must give notice, in person, to your local registry office (even if they are different). It is also advised that if you are getting married in a different area that you contact the local office there at the same time to make sure that someone will be available.

In order to give notice you need to provide some simple information;

• Full name 
• Age – the minimum legal age in England and Wales is 16 years of age
• Address
• Nationality
• Current status – for example single, divorced
• Occupation

• Intended venue for your marriage or civil partnership

You may be required to prove your ID, status or nationality so double check you have a current passport, birth certificate and any documents relating to previous partnerships to hand.

The notice will then be publicly displayed for fifteen days after which authority is granted and the notice remains valid for a year, as long as the venue remains the same. 

If you are not getting married in the registry office then you will be required to pick up a Certificate of Authority to be given to the officiant conducting the ceremony in order for it to go ahead. Your registrar will contact you to arrange a time to pick this up.

The only other legal requirement is that during a civil ceremony or partnership a statutory ‘Declaratory’ and ‘Contracting’ statement must be read by the bride and groom to make the marriage lawful.

These statements are;

Declaratory Statement

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, (your full name),

 may not be joined in matrimony to (your partner’s full name).

Contracting Statement

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, (your full name),

 do take thee, (your partner’s full name),

to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband).

There are also more ‘modern’ versions that your registrar can advise you on when you meet.

For more information on the legality and process of civil or religious marriages please visit http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Yourrightsandresponsibilities/DG_10026937

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Delivering the personal service

Writing Your Wedding VowsPosted by Kim Rix on January 26th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I think it is really wonderful that so many couples I meet wish to write, and read their own vows on their wedding day. It certainly adds something incredibly personal to the ceremony and really lets your friends, family and partner get a sense of everything you are thinking and feeling on this special day.

I also know that it can be a daunting task to undertake as I’ve been there myself! You may not feel you are an eloquent writer or that you don’t know how to put everything into words. Often I see one person striving ahead and writing two or three versions of the script leaving the other panicking! Here are my two top tips if you are having trouble writing your vows;

• Keep it simple and say what you mean.
• Less doesn’t mean more. Keep it short!

It often helps if you can add a structure to your vows. For example start with a little background;

When I met you… (I knew I could never look at anyone in the same way I look at you)

On our first date…(I wished I could always make you smile)

The first time we were apart… (I realised I couldn’t live without you)

Moving in together… (I knew that home was where you were)

Getting engaged… (I put my heart in your hands)

Then turn these pivotal moments into your vows;

I promise I will only have eyes for you.

I will always make it my mission to see you smiling.

I will always be there for you. Near or far. Even in the times you don’t want me there.

I promise that our home will always be our haven and I will keep you safe forever.

I will let you carry my heart with you always, as you let me carry yours. 

You can choose any moments in your life together which you feel are special. Those moments that you recall together and laugh about or cry about and map those defining moment in your relationship which make it so special. They can be silly or touching or maybe even forgotten. This also helps to keep it truly personal to you.

And don’t feel you have to write them alone! Ask your partner to work with you and enjoy the experience of doing this special task together. When they hear the vows again on the day it will be like the first time.

I know that saying them out loud on the day could be a nerve wracking experience for you – especially if you are not a fan of public speaking!

Do not be afraid to rehearse! By repeating these vows to yourself over and over you will find they seed themselves so deeply that you won’t feel you have to wrack your brain to remember them and that they will come naturally.

You don’t need to learn them off by heart, and nerves may get the better of you so it is perfectly acceptable to carry a little note with you to prompt you if you get flustered.

Practice with your bridesmaids or groomsmen and speak as confidently and clearly as you can. Accept that you might get teary, and accept that its ok to be emotional. Take a deep breath and you can get to the end.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Specialising in Luxury Weddings in London

Give Your Wedding The Personal TouchPosted by Kim Rix on January 12th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I want to help you take care of the detail. It’s the little things that we do in life which seem to get the most attention and it’s much the same during a wedding. It’s always the little touches you add that make the day extra special – and people always comment on afterwards.

The ‘detail’ itself doesn’t have to be small. I’m thinking more about a detail as in a personal touch or thought which you add to the day and completes the picture. I like to work with a couple’s personality and find out what things are important to them to suggest some extra little details to make their day special.

The ‘Green’ Couple

The first thing I would suggest to this couple is that biodegradable confetti is a must! It is completely soluble in water and contains no chemicals or pollutants that could harm the environment. Venues love it as well because it’s a quick and easy clean up with a little water. It comes in all colours – so you can match with your theme – and are also available with real petals, lavender buds and other dried flowers to give a beautiful fragrance when thrown.

You can have the confetti ready wrapped in colourful or textured recycled paper for your guests to pick up.

The ‘Child Friendly’ Couple

For those people who would love to have children at their wedding I would always recommend a special children’s corner in your venue. It’s a place just for them where they have little fun packs with activities like drawing, puzzles and craft to keep them occupied. A little disposable camera will also give them plenty of fun and the parents will love their first photographs!

The ‘Thankful’ Couple

I work with a lot of couples who don’t get to see that many of the people they invite to their wedding too often. This may be because they are very busy but mostly because our friends and family are split over the globe. A beautiful touch to tell your guests how pleased you are that they could come is a simple note on their dinner place. A little postcard size or smaller which recalls a personal moment of you together and how pleased you are that they are with you to share this moment too. If you have a big wedding then make sure you have plenty of time!!

The ‘Fun and Games’ Couple

Your guests are not going to have a chance to get bored, but if you want to bring in that extra feeling of fun and relaxation then why not introduce a few games. If you have a nice outdoor area then you can rent some great garden games like giant Jenga and Connect 4. Inside you can conduct a little table quiz! Each table acts as a team and whoever gets the most questions right (you can theme it around the happy couple) can win a prize! It could be a little novelty gift or something the whole table can enjoy together.

Its great to inject some of your personality! Be bold and creative and make your day special.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner