Wedding Etiquette: When Your Parents Are DivorcedPosted by Kim Rix on May 27th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I have been asked on a few occasions for advice surrounding what you should do if your parents are divorced and you are getting married. For some people this isn’t an issue at all but for others it can be really troubling.

The first thing to decide is if you want both of your parents (and their new partners if they have them) there at all. If you haven’t had much of a relationship with one of your parents since the divorce (especially if you were a child at the time) then you shouldn’t feel pressured into inviting them for the full day. If you want to invite them to the evening only, then that is what you should do.

I understand that these decisions can be difficult and you should take your time over them. Remember that this day is about your happiness and enjoyment and if you are going to be distracted or on edge then you should avoid it.

If you get on well with both of your parents and they are both coming to your wedding then there may be a few more things to consider. Will you be having a top table? And if so are both of your parents (and potentially new partners) going to be sitting there. You can always opt for a ‘sweetheart’ table for just the bride and groom if you think this may be difficult.

If your parents are not on the best of terms and you want to try and keep them occupied and apart at all times then I would usually suggest that you assign one of your friends (preferably not family) to keep an eye on them and intercept at any moments they feel may be appropriate. You can feel safe in knowing that someone is looking out and it takes the pressure off of you.

There are no real answers or correct things to do. You have to go with your instincts as much as possible and what will make your day the least stressful and the most fun that it can be.

I hope that helps.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Top Tips: Keeping Your Wedding Guests EntertainedPosted by Kim Rix on May 20th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

Everyone loves weddings, and I promise everybody will love yours, but if there is ever a complaint it is always about having to ‘wait around’. There is inevitably always going to be a little time when your guests will be waiting for a short time. You can of course be smart about it and recognize where these lulls may be and arrange a little activity or distraction to keep them occupied.

The largest lull is always between the ceremony and wedding breakfast when the photographs are usually taken. If you are having the reception at a different venue from the ceremony then a little of the time will be taken up by traveling, and the rest with a lovely champagne or drinks reception when they arrive. It will also take a little time to get settled in to the new venue and to find their way around.

If you are having the reception in the same venue as the ceremony then a little more activity may be needed to occupy your guests for this short waiting period.

If you’re in a unique or unusual venue then the simplest thing to do would be to offer a short guided tour of the building and its grounds. Most buildings of this nature will happily provide this service – some guides may even dress in the period of the day and give a much livelier performance than a talk.

If there are substantial grounds or garden areas that you can use then it might be a refreshing idea to provide some lawn games alongside an outside drinks reception. A lovely English favourite would be sipping Pimms, nibbling some fresh strawberries and playing a little croquet. You can also hire giant outdoor chess sets, jenga or other games to try.

You could always ask your photographer for a number of whole wedding shots or family groupings outside of the traditional formats. This makes everyone feel special and included – although this may not be easy in large weddings!

Why not look into creating a little treasure hunt, fun quiz or getting to know you game? Remember the one where you get a famous person’s name and stick it to your forehead then have to ask questions to find out who you are? Silly, yes. But a fabulous ice-breaker, very simple and super easy to manage!

Whatever you decide to do, don’t be afraid to try something a little different. You will actually have much less time than you think!!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

5 ways to involve your friends & family in your weddingPosted by Kim Rix on May 11th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

For most couples their wedding day is quite a big family affair. After all, you are both gaining a whole new family before the day is out! Your friends will also be there to enjoy the day with you, support you and wish you well on your new life together.

Many couples like to include or involve their friends or family a little more than just having them along on the day. There are a variety of different ways you can do this and make them feel like they have really contributed.

1. Bridal Party

The ‘highest’ honour is asking your friends and family members to be in your bridal party. Whether you choose to have one bridesmaid or 4 groomsmen is totally up to you. There is no reason why you can’t have a bridesman or a groomslady either!

If you want to give a little nod to a close friend or aunt / uncle with children then consider asking them if their child could be a ring bearer, page boy or flower girl. I guarantee they will be touched.

2. Assign Duties

You will need help on the day, not just in the planning process. Ask your trusted and reliable friends or family members to carry out some specific tasks for you. It could be as simple as making sure your mum always has a full glass of champagne, keeping your dad and your step dad apart, or promising to be the first on the dance floor!

3. Utilise their skills!

Do your friends or family members have any special skills? Think about what they are good at and see if you can fit them into your wedding. Perhaps you have a grandma who is an amazing baker who could make your cake. Maybe your best friend is an interior decorator and he/she’d like to help decorate the venue?

4. Create Together

If you are having a particularly ‘hands-on’ wedding then why not gather your friends and family together to make things for your wedding over a night, weekend or several evenings where you get to socialize and contribute in a big way too. I’m thinking about handmade table decorations, favours, place-cards… (lots of inspiration at http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/decoration-templates#slide_1)

5. Say Something

Asking your close friend or family to speak either during the ceremony or at the reception is a lovely way to be included. Whether it’s a specially selected reading chosen by you (or them) or a speech from the heart, it is a perfectly simple and touching way to get involved.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Same Sex Weddings Vs Heterosexual WeddingsPosted by Kim Rix on May 4th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I thought I would share with you a conversation I had with a potential client a few days ago. I won’t name her to avoid her feeling any more self conscious – I’ll say this now before she panics.

Basically she is marrying her long-term girlfriend in a civil partnership and she was asking about the etiquette of same sex weddings. Are they the same as heterosexual weddings? Would people have certain expectations of her wedding because it was between two women? And the answer to that is, its your wedding. Only you and your partner can decide what kind of wedding you want and its based entirely on your personality – not your sexuality!

If you are a gay couple that loves camp and flamboyant, then do camp and flamboyant! If you are a lesbian couple that enjoys sailing, then have a nautical theme. You shouldn’t let society or other people’s opinions dictate the decisions you make. Your friends and family are coming to see you get married. They expect only to see you comfortable, happy and having a wonderful time. They want to see little aspects of your personality and the things you enjoy littered throughout the day.

I understand that there are still a number of people who would be uncomfortable in talking about same sex marriages, let alone going to one. I also think it is important to remember that in the UK, it is your right to be able to marry the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and to be treated equally with others.

Do not compromise your dreams and your wishes in fear of other people’s opinions!! A great wedding is a great wedding regardless of who is getting married. Make the most of it – and I’m happy to help!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

 Your London Wedding Planner

“Freeing up your time and delivering the personal service”