Writing Your Wedding VowsPosted by Kim Rix on January 26th, 2010
Dear Bride and Groom,
I think it is really wonderful that so many couples I meet wish to write, and read their own vows on their wedding day. It certainly adds something incredibly personal to the ceremony and really lets your friends, family and partner get a sense of everything you are thinking and feeling on this special day.
I also know that it can be a daunting task to undertake as I’ve been there myself! You may not feel you are an eloquent writer or that you don’t know how to put everything into words. Often I see one person striving ahead and writing two or three versions of the script leaving the other panicking! Here are my two top tips if you are having trouble writing your vows;
- Keep it simple and say what you mean.
- Less doesn’t mean more. Keep it short!
It often helps if you can add a structure to your vows. For example start with a little background;
When I met you… (I knew I could never look at anyone in the same way I look at you)
On our first date…(I wished I could always make you smile)
The first time we were apart… (I realised I couldn’t live without you)
Moving in together… (I knew that home was where you were)
Getting engaged… (I put my heart in your hands)
Then turn these pivotal moments into your vows;
I promise I will only have eyes for you.
I will always make it my mission to see you smiling.
I will always be there for you. Near or far. Even in the times you don’t want me there.
I promise that our home will always be our haven and I will keep you safe forever.
I will let you carry my heart with you always, as you let me carry yours.
You can choose any moments in your life together which you feel are special. Those moments that you recall together and laugh about or cry about and map those defining moment in your relationship which make it so special. They can be silly or touching or maybe even forgotten. This also helps to keep it truly personal to you.
And don’t feel you have to write them alone! Ask your partner to work with you and enjoy the experience of doing this special task together. When they hear the vows again on the day it will be like the first time.
I know that saying them out loud on the day could be a nerve wracking experience for you – especially if you are not a fan of public speaking!
Do not be afraid to rehearse! By repeating these vows to yourself over and over you will find they seed themselves so deeply that you won’t feel you have to wrack your brain to remember them and that they will come naturally.
You don’t need to learn them off by heart, and nerves may get the better of you so it is perfectly acceptable to carry a little note with you to prompt you if you get flustered.
Practice with your bridesmaids or groomsmen and speak as confidently and clearly as you can. Accept that you might get teary, and accept that its ok to be emotional. Take a deep breath and you can get to the end.
Kind regards,
Kim Rix
Specialising in Luxury Weddings in London