What is Marriage?Posted by Kim Rix on December 22nd, 2009

Dear Bride & Groom,

Yesterday, I cooked my husband dinner, made with extra special TLC. Why? Because four years ago yesterday, my husband proposed to me. I appreciate that it’s not an official wedding anniversary, but it’s an occasion that I felt was worth honouring and making an extra effort for.

Marriage is so much more than just a piece of paper. Of course that ‘piece of paper’ also has a lot of weight and meaning but I wanted to spend a little time writing about the reasons I think marriage is so special, and worth pushing the boat out for.

I’m not going to look into any of the cultural or religious reasons that couples may have for marrying each other – I think that if it is important to you then this is already clear. I suppose I am looking at the increasingly apparent model of the modern couple. Many of these aren’t religious, have been together (lived together) for many years, may have children and might even come from broken homes. There are couples I know personally who don’t see the point of getting married because, “we live like we’re married anyway.” But I think they are missing out on something special.

The first thing to acknowledge is that marriage gives a couple completely different legal rights than if they were just co-habiting, have a child or believe they have a ‘common law marriage’.  Married couples also have completely different access, rights and obligations to do with tax, pensions, inheritance and parental responsibility. It may also affect the purchase of a home, your access to medical care or even choices to do with immigration. It should be noted that the laws in Scotland differ slightly and you should seek advice if you are not sure about your rights, roles and responsibilities.

When a couple first comes to me I can see how excited they are! And why not? They have agreed to make the most important commitment to one another that you can make. To be there for each other, to love each other forever. There is nothing like being with two people who know they want to commit their lives to being together. The happiness is positively infectious!

Marriage is also the beginning of a whole set of new firsts! The first kiss, the first dance, the first anniversary, and Christmas, and holiday. You get a whole new start as a married couple. There may be only small changes for you, there may be some big ones, but you will notice the difference in how you approach things because you are a unified team sharing these experiences together.

Marriage also brings a great feeling of stability to the relationship. It has been shown that couples experiencing problems are more likely to work harder to get through them if they are married than if they are not. It has a tremendous psychological connection to your feelings of security and is often the first step towards thinking of yourselves as a family.

Personally, I love being married.  There is no larger declaration of love than marriage, and it should be honoured with small gestures whenever possible – that’s Marriage!

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

How The Wedding Planning Industry Has Changed Over The Past Five YearsPosted by Kim Rix on December 15th, 2009

Dear wedding professionals,

I thought it would be important to look at how much the wedding industry has been changing over the past number of years. Traditions and expectations change and I think it’s important to acknowledge both the good points and the bad and choose your direction.

I asked a number of fellow wedding professionals how they thought the industry had changed. A common remark was on how quickly couples were getting married after their engagement.

“It used to be that weddings were booked 2 years ahead (as the best venues were always the first to go) however now, they’re booking and getting married within the year” – Caroline Ghorbanian, SAS Party Decorations

I’ve noticed this too. I think, that mostly this is because couples have the ability to pay for the wedding quicker so they don’t need the lead-in time of previous years and generations. There are several reasons for this;

-         couples are older than in previous generations and either have savings or a greater ability to save

-         there is wider access to credit, and loans are more socially acceptable

-         couples are more savvy and vocal about finding and securing discounts and deals

-         couples and families are contributing more to the wedding in terms of their skills and contacts so there is less need for upfront cash

-         Intimate and small getaway weddings are increasing in popularity (especially for couples on their 2^nd marriage)

This points out to us that there are couples still spending a lot of money on their big day but funding it through different means than the wallet of the bride’s father but also that a lot of couples have become budget conscious and careful.

Kristie Lorette, Weddings Diva, seems to agree with this as she says:

 “I’ve watched brides create weddings of their dreams by simply inviting close family and friends… Rather than throwing an over-the-top lavish affair that costs a fortune…They’re not sacrificing the wedding of their dreams, but simply approaching it in a more realistic manner.”

Indeed with a growing number of couples paying for majority, if not all, of their wedding it seems logical that they would pay more attention to where that money is going than if it was being gifted to them.

I think that it is very important for you to have the wedding that you want, within budget. I have stressed before the importance of making a realistic budget and sticking to it. Although the trend to get married within a year is growing, I would still advocate a 2 year engagement if it means that you can have the wedding you dream of, with all the details you’d love and the time to be sure you can pay for it all without spending you first year of married life with debt over your heads.

Of course, if you receive sound financial advice, you are certain a loan will be easy for you to manage and you’d like to bring your wedding forward then I would be pleased to help you bring it all together. Remember: the best venues, florists and bands do book quickly – especially during the summer months – and if you don’t have dedicated time to chase these up then a wedding planner could be your greatest, secret (or not so secret) weapon!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Luxury Weddings & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, phone 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

How to Budget Your WeddingPosted by Kim Rix on December 8th, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

I cannot over emphasise the importance of budgeting.  Your whole wedding has to stem from this point. What is the total (the absolute maximum) that you are willing and able to spend on your wedding? Once you know this, for certain, write it down and make a promise to stick to it!

It is very easy to get carried away. It’s only an extra hundred for this and only another 10 of those, but you can quickly become carried away. You need to set out your budget right at the beginning and keep revisiting it to make sure you are on track.

I have created a really easy to use Interactive Budget Manager for my couples. Together we take the total budget for the wedding and allocate it to different ‘sections’ as a percentage. By thinking of different elements of your wedding in ‘sections’ or ‘chunks’ you will find this a much easier task. An example of a section could be; Attire, Entertainment or Reception. You can allocate more or less money to each section based on the percentage you allocate it, and tweak it to suit.

As I mentioned you also need to track what you actually spend. Your budget will be based on assumptions until you get solid quotes through, so you need to make sure that if things are costing a little more than anticipated, you spot it immediately in your budget and tweak other areas to make sure you come out even. And don’t forget that deposits count too! Even though you could be laying a deposit 2 – 3 years in advance make sure you include it in the total so you know realistically what you have spent.

The wonderful thing about working with a wedding planner is that they will spend the time to get you the best deal from the best suppliers. I would always advise speaking to a minimum of 3 suppliers for each element of your wedding. This way you can gauge the standard of their work, reliability and cost and take it all into consideration before making a decision. Savvy shopping will ensure you get the best from your budget!

I know of many couples that have taken out a loan or even re-mortgaged their home to pay for the wedding they desire. I would suggest that these are rather drastic measures that should only be taken if you are absolutely sure you can enjoy life fully after the wedding is over!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Wedding & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, contact Kim Rix on 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

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Keeping Children Occupied At WeddingsPosted by Kim Rix on December 1st, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may not have even discussed whether you are happy to have children coming to your wedding, or not, yet. If you have chosen to have a young flower girl (or bridesmaid) and a pageboy then you have made this decision without a second thought.

Some parents like to leave the kids at home when they go to a wedding. They may see it as an opportunity to catch up with friends or family they haven’t seen in years, and let their hair down a little. On the other side, it’s a great chance to show off the family and they can certainly add to the atmosphere of the wedding – and lets not forget the adorable photo moments they create.

It is a long day for children, and even the best-behaved will eventually get a little restless. Here are a few ideas for entertaining and occupying them on your big day.

Garden Games

If you are having your reception in a venue, which has an outside area, garden, or grounds then you might want to consider hiring a few garden games. Giant Connect 4 or Jenga are instant winners. Easy to set up, easy to manage and the adults get a kick out of it too!

Craft Table

Ask your venue to set up a small table for you in a corner of the reception. Provide some colouring books, crayons and ‘dry’ art materials so they can colour, make and play. You might consider some ‘wedding’ themed crafts like decorating a lucky horseshoe or designing a wedding dress. There are plenty of ready-made sets out there so you don’t have to make activities up yourself!

Candid Camera

If they are old enough (5 or 6 years +) then you could consider buying a couple of disposable cameras to allow them to take a few pictures themselves. You could set them a checklist of images to shoot or things they have to find. They will feel really important and you will get lovely pictures from their view of the wedding.

Special Treats

Young people have great fun pretending to be adults. They will see your guests sipping on champagne, eating canapés and nibbling on decadent treats. Ask your venue or caterer to create some children friendly treats and cocktails. Ask them to make sure they are healthy and low in sugar (so they don’t get too hyper) and lay them out specially.

I would also recommend designating a child friendly person to watch over your younger guests and make sure they are having a good time – and not getting into any trouble. Knowing you have someone watching over them while make you feel much more comfortable.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner