Writing Your Wedding VowsPosted by Kim Rix on January 26th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I think it is really wonderful that so many couples I meet wish to write, and read their own vows on their wedding day. It certainly adds something incredibly personal to the ceremony and really lets your friends, family and partner get a sense of everything you are thinking and feeling on this special day.

I also know that it can be a daunting task to undertake as I’ve been there myself! You may not feel you are an eloquent writer or that you don’t know how to put everything into words. Often I see one person striving ahead and writing two or three versions of the script leaving the other panicking! Here are my two top tips if you are having trouble writing your vows;

• Keep it simple and say what you mean.
• Less doesn’t mean more. Keep it short!

It often helps if you can add a structure to your vows. For example start with a little background;

When I met you… (I knew I could never look at anyone in the same way I look at you)

On our first date…(I wished I could always make you smile)

The first time we were apart… (I realised I couldn’t live without you)

Moving in together… (I knew that home was where you were)

Getting engaged… (I put my heart in your hands)

Then turn these pivotal moments into your vows;

I promise I will only have eyes for you.

I will always make it my mission to see you smiling.

I will always be there for you. Near or far. Even in the times you don’t want me there.

I promise that our home will always be our haven and I will keep you safe forever.

I will let you carry my heart with you always, as you let me carry yours. 

You can choose any moments in your life together which you feel are special. Those moments that you recall together and laugh about or cry about and map those defining moment in your relationship which make it so special. They can be silly or touching or maybe even forgotten. This also helps to keep it truly personal to you.

And don’t feel you have to write them alone! Ask your partner to work with you and enjoy the experience of doing this special task together. When they hear the vows again on the day it will be like the first time.

I know that saying them out loud on the day could be a nerve wracking experience for you – especially if you are not a fan of public speaking!

Do not be afraid to rehearse! By repeating these vows to yourself over and over you will find they seed themselves so deeply that you won’t feel you have to wrack your brain to remember them and that they will come naturally.

You don’t need to learn them off by heart, and nerves may get the better of you so it is perfectly acceptable to carry a little note with you to prompt you if you get flustered.

Practice with your bridesmaids or groomsmen and speak as confidently and clearly as you can. Accept that you might get teary, and accept that its ok to be emotional. Take a deep breath and you can get to the end.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Specialising in Luxury Weddings in London

Give Your Wedding The Personal TouchPosted by Kim Rix on January 12th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I want to help you take care of the detail. It’s the little things that we do in life which seem to get the most attention and it’s much the same during a wedding. It’s always the little touches you add that make the day extra special – and people always comment on afterwards.

The ‘detail’ itself doesn’t have to be small. I’m thinking more about a detail as in a personal touch or thought which you add to the day and completes the picture. I like to work with a couple’s personality and find out what things are important to them to suggest some extra little details to make their day special.

The ‘Green’ Couple

The first thing I would suggest to this couple is that biodegradable confetti is a must! It is completely soluble in water and contains no chemicals or pollutants that could harm the environment. Venues love it as well because it’s a quick and easy clean up with a little water. It comes in all colours – so you can match with your theme – and are also available with real petals, lavender buds and other dried flowers to give a beautiful fragrance when thrown.

You can have the confetti ready wrapped in colourful or textured recycled paper for your guests to pick up.

The ‘Child Friendly’ Couple

For those people who would love to have children at their wedding I would always recommend a special children’s corner in your venue. It’s a place just for them where they have little fun packs with activities like drawing, puzzles and craft to keep them occupied. A little disposable camera will also give them plenty of fun and the parents will love their first photographs!

The ‘Thankful’ Couple

I work with a lot of couples who don’t get to see that many of the people they invite to their wedding too often. This may be because they are very busy but mostly because our friends and family are split over the globe. A beautiful touch to tell your guests how pleased you are that they could come is a simple note on their dinner place. A little postcard size or smaller which recalls a personal moment of you together and how pleased you are that they are with you to share this moment too. If you have a big wedding then make sure you have plenty of time!!

The ‘Fun and Games’ Couple

Your guests are not going to have a chance to get bored, but if you want to bring in that extra feeling of fun and relaxation then why not introduce a few games. If you have a nice outdoor area then you can rent some great garden games like giant Jenga and Connect 4. Inside you can conduct a little table quiz! Each table acts as a team and whoever gets the most questions right (you can theme it around the happy couple) can win a prize! It could be a little novelty gift or something the whole table can enjoy together.

Its great to inject some of your personality! Be bold and creative and make your day special.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Wedding Celebrations – It’s Not All Over!Posted by Kim Rix on January 5th, 2010

Dear Bride and Groom,

I hear a lot of couples (and their parents) talking about the wedding being only one day. That in 24 hours it has been and gone and then you just seamlessly roll on into married life.

I would like to dispel this myth! I have rarely (actually, probably never) been to or planned a wedding where there hasn’t been some social occasion directly related to it before or after the ‘ big day’ itself. It is an important time and it isn’t very often that you get to celebrate with friends and family in such a way so I would always encourage you to make the most of it. Here are a few of my suggestions.

Engagement Party

Starting right at the very beginning! It is becoming customary to have a party to officially announce your engagement. Naturally people want to celebrate the good news with you so why not make it easier. You could have an intimate dinner in the private dining room of your favourite restaurant, or a simple champagne and canapé reception in a nearby hotel or classy bar. If you want to keep things very low key you can have drinks and nibbles at your house (or your parent’s house for the more traditional couples).

Stag and Hen Parties

Wherever you are in the world it seems traditional to have a final separate ‘send off’ for the bride and groom. Organised predominantly by the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honour the Stag or Hen celebration is a great warm up to your big day. All of your friends get to meet together – some for the first time – and throw caution to the wind.

If your idea of a good time is not dressing up in matching printed t-shirts and horns then that is absolutely ok! For the gents why not think about a day of paintballing or racetrack driving followed by a great hearty meal and drinks. Perhaps the ladies might like a pampering and photography session or a cocktail and chocolate making class followed by drinks and dancing.

You can always make a weekend out of it – I would always recommend a city break to your favourite European capital. You are almost certainly guaranteed good food and wine!

Mehndi Parties

Traditionally, Indian brides would get together with all of her female friends and family the night before the wedding and have a Mehndi Party. During this evening the bride would have beautifully, intricate henna tattoos painted on her hands and feet to be especially beautiful for her wedding.

Many UK brides are becoming more interested in Mehndi parties for their traditional wedding celebrations – sometimes playing a part in their hen party. Remember if you don’t want to have the tattoo on the day of your wedding then you should plan the party at least 6 weeks in advance to make sure it has worn off in time.

Rehearsal Dinner

I think that a rehearsal dinner is a very important part of your wedding planning and celebrations. It gives your bridal party an opportunity to settle into their roles and your family and friends an opportunity to get to know each other a little before the celebrations. Ideally it should be the evening before the wedding and not go on too late so you can be refreshed in the morning.

It should definitely have a relaxed atmosphere and a little of the couple’s personality shining through! Again, your favourite restaurant (or even your parent’s back garden) is a great way to get everyone together and talking.

And if you can’t manage the day before, why not consider a brunch the day after your wedding to thank your guests again for coming and let them look fondly on the previous days events.

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Luxury Weddings in London & Home Counties

What is Marriage?Posted by Kim Rix on December 22nd, 2009

Dear Bride & Groom,

Yesterday, I cooked my husband dinner, made with extra special TLC. Why? Because four years ago yesterday, my husband proposed to me. I appreciate that it’s not an official wedding anniversary, but it’s an occasion that I felt was worth honouring and making an extra effort for.

Marriage is so much more than just a piece of paper. Of course that ‘piece of paper’ also has a lot of weight and meaning but I wanted to spend a little time writing about the reasons I think marriage is so special, and worth pushing the boat out for.

I’m not going to look into any of the cultural or religious reasons that couples may have for marrying each other – I think that if it is important to you then this is already clear. I suppose I am looking at the increasingly apparent model of the modern couple. Many of these aren’t religious, have been together (lived together) for many years, may have children and might even come from broken homes. There are couples I know personally who don’t see the point of getting married because, “we live like we’re married anyway.” But I think they are missing out on something special.

The first thing to acknowledge is that marriage gives a couple completely different legal rights than if they were just co-habiting, have a child or believe they have a ‘common law marriage’.  Married couples also have completely different access, rights and obligations to do with tax, pensions, inheritance and parental responsibility. It may also affect the purchase of a home, your access to medical care or even choices to do with immigration. It should be noted that the laws in Scotland differ slightly and you should seek advice if you are not sure about your rights, roles and responsibilities.

When a couple first comes to me I can see how excited they are! And why not? They have agreed to make the most important commitment to one another that you can make. To be there for each other, to love each other forever. There is nothing like being with two people who know they want to commit their lives to being together. The happiness is positively infectious!

Marriage is also the beginning of a whole set of new firsts! The first kiss, the first dance, the first anniversary, and Christmas, and holiday. You get a whole new start as a married couple. There may be only small changes for you, there may be some big ones, but you will notice the difference in how you approach things because you are a unified team sharing these experiences together.

Marriage also brings a great feeling of stability to the relationship. It has been shown that couples experiencing problems are more likely to work harder to get through them if they are married than if they are not. It has a tremendous psychological connection to your feelings of security and is often the first step towards thinking of yourselves as a family.

Personally, I love being married.  There is no larger declaration of love than marriage, and it should be honoured with small gestures whenever possible – that’s Marriage!

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

How The Wedding Planning Industry Has Changed Over The Past Five YearsPosted by Kim Rix on December 15th, 2009

Dear wedding professionals,

I thought it would be important to look at how much the wedding industry has been changing over the past number of years. Traditions and expectations change and I think it’s important to acknowledge both the good points and the bad and choose your direction.

I asked a number of fellow wedding professionals how they thought the industry had changed. A common remark was on how quickly couples were getting married after their engagement.

“It used to be that weddings were booked 2 years ahead (as the best venues were always the first to go) however now, they’re booking and getting married within the year” – Caroline Ghorbanian, SAS Party Decorations

I’ve noticed this too. I think, that mostly this is because couples have the ability to pay for the wedding quicker so they don’t need the lead-in time of previous years and generations. There are several reasons for this;

-         couples are older than in previous generations and either have savings or a greater ability to save

-         there is wider access to credit, and loans are more socially acceptable

-         couples are more savvy and vocal about finding and securing discounts and deals

-         couples and families are contributing more to the wedding in terms of their skills and contacts so there is less need for upfront cash

-         Intimate and small getaway weddings are increasing in popularity (especially for couples on their 2^nd marriage)

This points out to us that there are couples still spending a lot of money on their big day but funding it through different means than the wallet of the bride’s father but also that a lot of couples have become budget conscious and careful.

Kristie Lorette, Weddings Diva, seems to agree with this as she says:

 “I’ve watched brides create weddings of their dreams by simply inviting close family and friends… Rather than throwing an over-the-top lavish affair that costs a fortune…They’re not sacrificing the wedding of their dreams, but simply approaching it in a more realistic manner.”

Indeed with a growing number of couples paying for majority, if not all, of their wedding it seems logical that they would pay more attention to where that money is going than if it was being gifted to them.

I think that it is very important for you to have the wedding that you want, within budget. I have stressed before the importance of making a realistic budget and sticking to it. Although the trend to get married within a year is growing, I would still advocate a 2 year engagement if it means that you can have the wedding you dream of, with all the details you’d love and the time to be sure you can pay for it all without spending you first year of married life with debt over your heads.

Of course, if you receive sound financial advice, you are certain a loan will be easy for you to manage and you’d like to bring your wedding forward then I would be pleased to help you bring it all together. Remember: the best venues, florists and bands do book quickly – especially during the summer months – and if you don’t have dedicated time to chase these up then a wedding planner could be your greatest, secret (or not so secret) weapon!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Luxury Weddings & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, phone 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

How to Budget Your WeddingPosted by Kim Rix on December 8th, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

I cannot over emphasise the importance of budgeting.  Your whole wedding has to stem from this point. What is the total (the absolute maximum) that you are willing and able to spend on your wedding? Once you know this, for certain, write it down and make a promise to stick to it!

It is very easy to get carried away. It’s only an extra hundred for this and only another 10 of those, but you can quickly become carried away. You need to set out your budget right at the beginning and keep revisiting it to make sure you are on track.

I have created a really easy to use Interactive Budget Manager for my couples. Together we take the total budget for the wedding and allocate it to different ‘sections’ as a percentage. By thinking of different elements of your wedding in ‘sections’ or ‘chunks’ you will find this a much easier task. An example of a section could be; Attire, Entertainment or Reception. You can allocate more or less money to each section based on the percentage you allocate it, and tweak it to suit.

As I mentioned you also need to track what you actually spend. Your budget will be based on assumptions until you get solid quotes through, so you need to make sure that if things are costing a little more than anticipated, you spot it immediately in your budget and tweak other areas to make sure you come out even. And don’t forget that deposits count too! Even though you could be laying a deposit 2 – 3 years in advance make sure you include it in the total so you know realistically what you have spent.

The wonderful thing about working with a wedding planner is that they will spend the time to get you the best deal from the best suppliers. I would always advise speaking to a minimum of 3 suppliers for each element of your wedding. This way you can gauge the standard of their work, reliability and cost and take it all into consideration before making a decision. Savvy shopping will ensure you get the best from your budget!

I know of many couples that have taken out a loan or even re-mortgaged their home to pay for the wedding they desire. I would suggest that these are rather drastic measures that should only be taken if you are absolutely sure you can enjoy life fully after the wedding is over!

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Wedding & Events Planner

To start planning your wedding, contact Kim Rix on 0208 989 4886 or visit www.yourlondonweddingplanner.co.uk

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Keeping Children Occupied At WeddingsPosted by Kim Rix on December 1st, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may not have even discussed whether you are happy to have children coming to your wedding, or not, yet. If you have chosen to have a young flower girl (or bridesmaid) and a pageboy then you have made this decision without a second thought.

Some parents like to leave the kids at home when they go to a wedding. They may see it as an opportunity to catch up with friends or family they haven’t seen in years, and let their hair down a little. On the other side, it’s a great chance to show off the family and they can certainly add to the atmosphere of the wedding – and lets not forget the adorable photo moments they create.

It is a long day for children, and even the best-behaved will eventually get a little restless. Here are a few ideas for entertaining and occupying them on your big day.

Garden Games

If you are having your reception in a venue, which has an outside area, garden, or grounds then you might want to consider hiring a few garden games. Giant Connect 4 or Jenga are instant winners. Easy to set up, easy to manage and the adults get a kick out of it too!

Craft Table

Ask your venue to set up a small table for you in a corner of the reception. Provide some colouring books, crayons and ‘dry’ art materials so they can colour, make and play. You might consider some ‘wedding’ themed crafts like decorating a lucky horseshoe or designing a wedding dress. There are plenty of ready-made sets out there so you don’t have to make activities up yourself!

Candid Camera

If they are old enough (5 or 6 years +) then you could consider buying a couple of disposable cameras to allow them to take a few pictures themselves. You could set them a checklist of images to shoot or things they have to find. They will feel really important and you will get lovely pictures from their view of the wedding.

Special Treats

Young people have great fun pretending to be adults. They will see your guests sipping on champagne, eating canapés and nibbling on decadent treats. Ask your venue or caterer to create some children friendly treats and cocktails. Ask them to make sure they are healthy and low in sugar (so they don’t get too hyper) and lay them out specially.

I would also recommend designating a child friendly person to watch over your younger guests and make sure they are having a good time – and not getting into any trouble. Knowing you have someone watching over them while make you feel much more comfortable.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Wedding Debt AdvicePosted by Kim Rix on November 24th, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

I’m sure you are already planning what your life will be like once you are married. The house you will live in, the holidays you will go on together, the first Christmas card you send as Mr and Mrs. What you might not have thought about is the upwards of ten thousand pounds in debt which couples expect to be in to have their dream wedding.

I was horrified to read that in 2008 a study showed that most women in Britain expected to take on between 8 and 10 thousand pounds worth of debt to have their dream wedding – perhaps inspired by their favourite celebrity wedding.  Some women will go as far as re-mortgaging their home to be able to afford designer dress or five star honeymoon. That’s crazy!

You have to ask yourselves whether, during your first few years of married life, you would rather be spending your hard earned money paying off your wedding debt or enjoying furnishing your marital home or taking nice holidays together.

Your wedding can be beautiful and still be in budget! You need to take a careful look at your finances and set your budget accordingly. Give yourselves time to save and use a budget planner to keep track of your anticipated and actual spending.

Of course if you have savings and help from family then some of the pressure will be take off of you. But just because you have the money doesn’t mean you have to spend it all either!

You can take out a loan or buy extras on your credit card but only if you absolutely know that you can make the minimum payments until it’s cleared. You really need to weigh up whether you will be compromising your quality of life for years, for small aspects of one, albeit very important, day.

Engaging the services of a wedding planner can assist you in keeping within budget and avoiding the clutches of debt. First of all together we set a realistic budget and make a pact to stick to it. Working together we can find all the things you require at a great price – I’ll do all the shopping around and negotiate to get you the best deal possible.

Your wedding will be the most special day of your life, regardless of how much money you have. Remember it is only the beginning of your time together.

Kind regards

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner

Finding a Good Wedding PlannerPosted by Kim Rix on November 17th, 2009

Dear Bride and Groom,

You may be considering using a wedding planner for a number of reasons. Perhaps you feel under pressure for time, you are not sure where to start or you know exactly what you want and you are looking for someone who can help you see it through from beginning to end.

There are plenty of people in the UK (and abroad) who sell themselves as a Wedding Planner but how do you know who to trust?

Here are my tips for finding the wedding planner who suits you.

Recommendations

The most obvious way to find out if a wedding planner is any good is through recommendation. This could be a personal recommendation from a friend, family member or acquaintance but if it doesn’t come through them there is another way to find out.  Ask the planner if he / she has any testimonials from previous clients or even suppliers that you can talk to.

Documentation

Any planner worth their salt will have examples of previous weddings. This can include photographs, budgets, scrapbooks of research materials and even copies of invites and ceremonies.  A good planner should sit and go through some of these with you and give examples of wedding that are close to your ideas.

Budgeting / Contracting

A wedding planner should always be upfront about their charges and not add on any ‘extras’ that haven’t been discussed. You should always get a contract between yourself and the planner that details all the services you should be receiving and also any obligations that you should fulfil. If your planner is hesitant about budgets or doesn’t produce a contract I would steer clear.

Connections

One of the great benefits of using a planner is that they have fantastic connections with service and product suppliers. The planner should be able to give you a list of good suppliers that he / she works with regularly and what makes them special. Usually a planner is given discounts for their orders as they place them regularly and this should be passed on to you. Basically that means you can get a little more for your money!

Personality

It is essential that you find a planner that you get on well with – someone who complements your personality. So if you are quite highly strung you need someone who is efficient and can keep you calm and relaxed. Or if you are quite laid back then you need someone who can nudge you into making decisions and setting tasks for you to complete.

Above all your wedding planner should be honest, open and accountable.

Kind regards,

Kim Rix

Your London Wedding Planner